should i ask for a 3some?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
should i ask for a 3some?
4
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 9:30am
My bf and I were discussing sex, generally, and he said that he doesn't do oral-ever (or 3somes). I must admit I was very disappointed about the oral aspect, because it's something I enjoy and will miss, but I love everything else about him. Shall I still ask him for oral(or a 3some) or direct him towards oral during sex?




Edited 8/9/2004 9:52 am ET ET by exhibityme

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 9:52am
You've asked, he said he doesn't do those things. Why keep asking? He said no, that should be the end of it. If his sexuality and yours are different, then do him a favor and move on, find someone who is interested in the same things you are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 10:03am
I never asked him, he volunteered the information during general conversation. Since I now see where he stands on the subject(s), I wasn't sure if I should ask him anyhow. I never revealed my feelings on the subjects either, since it doesn't really matter at this point.

Accept him as he is, or move on - hard one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 12:23pm
Hi: I wrote about 3-somes on the other thread you posted. Basically, YOU need to know your sex partners. One couple were STD free; but, aquired HERPES after doing a 3-some.

From the boards, oral sex is usually liked by both sexual partners. If the guy is against cunnilingus, it could be for a NUMBER OF REASONS: 1-afraid of STD's, 2-unsure of the cleanliness of the woman, 3-nervious about not doing the act correctly...Mac

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 5:27pm
It's like any other issue in a relationship. You either have to share the same feelings about it, find a compromise, or accept that he doesn't want to have anything to do with it. It can be disappointing with something like oral sex because it is a common sexual activity these days and that a great many people practice it and enjoy it. But if he has clearly said that he doesn't do it there is probably little that you can do.

Perhaps, rather than quietly accepting it and not saying anything more, you should let him know your opinion too. If there is a compromise to be made both opinions have been shared. At the moment he doesn't really know what you think about it. He probably _assumes_ that you like oral sex and he probably _assumes_ that you have accepted his position. But if it's important to you I think that you should discuss it further. Nothing may come of it but at least you are both clear about it.

The same applies if you are asking for threesome. He will have an opinion about that too. You will have to see if you share the same ideas, or if you can reach a satisfactory compromise.