Should I be worried?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 11-24-2006 - 10:39pm |
I am a 38 year single mom with a terrific 40 year old boyfriend. We are both divorced and we are currently six month into this relationship. We are doing a pretty good job of balancing relationship, kiddos, work, etc...
My guy recently started doing something new and it is confusing the heck out of me. Based on my past experiences talking with guys about this type of thing only tends to make things worse not better...so I am turning to the message board for some advise. Up until the last few weeks our sex life has been great. No real problems or issues that I am aware of. Recently my guy has started doing something new. The last 4 or 5 times we have had sex every time he has orgasmed he has had to pull out first and then finish himself off. When he pulls out he says he wants to "come all over me". If this only happened once or twice or just every once in a while I wouldn't think much of it - heck I like a little variety every once in a while. The problem is that this new twist on our sex life is really not doing anything for me. It makes me feel like an object not a person. It also really makes me feel like we are just "having sex" - like he is not really emotionally connecting with me. I can't help but feel that by pulling out prior to orgasm he is emotionally distancing himself - but still getting the perks of sex.
Has anyone else run into this?

I think that "based on your past experiences" doesn't need to be in THIS relationship. That was then, this is now. That was some other man, this is THIS man.
If you don't like what's going on, then the only way to let HIM know is to tell him. If he's "emotionally disconnecting" from you.....then he's on his way out anyway! I'm not sure why you would feel that way....that he's disconnecting....unless there are other things going on. I would see it as something new he's come up with, he thinks it's hot and sexy, and let him have a ball. If it's just the last 4-5 times, then maybe he'll get tired of it soon. If not, have a talk with him. Tell him that you don't mind it, but not EVERY time, that you enjoy it more when he finishes inside of you....and you want a compromise.
If he can't do that for you, if he's not willing to let you have what you want too, then guess what? He's not such a "terrific boyfriend"! Maybe the others weren't either, and thats why "talking" didn't work.