should i do him? :s

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2006
should i do him? :s
6
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 4:19am

he's a good friend of my brothers, a good friend of mine, a major component in our group of friends. we all spend time together more than i spend time at any other place. my aries and me click together, the chemistry is wild.

my parents love him, his parents love the hell out of me. he's a little wild, but i may be the girl he needs to calm him down and open him up.

every day it gets harder to resist sex with him...should i do it? i'm a pisces, he's an aries...he needs attention and affection, and i need to give a lot of both. i adore him as my friend and as a person i think about frequently. he makes me feel a strange energy when i touch him and i get the strangest feeling of a subtle security mixed with friendly love when i am around him.

i could have sex with him whenever i wanted, it's up to me...should i do it? how would it be after? would we all still be normal friends? but he and i could have something more? i could do it, i could live like that, but could he? :s sooo confused! =x

if we had a relationship...i have a feelin it would go far. there is so much that could be. my brother's good friend...and me. :s yikes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 7:45am

How would it be afterwards, would you still be good friends, will a relationship develop, no one can give you those answers, there is no way of knowing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 10:05am

Welcome to the board, earthenangel.

Well, you already know this could be a sticky situation. Since it's your call, have you talked to him about all the "what if's"? Have you asked him if he can see you developing a relationship or just having sex? While the two of you may be able to survive having sex together and it going no further than that, what happens when one of you brings a new partner into the group of friends? Will things get too strained then? Also what about the other friends in the group? How will they react to learning of your activities?

I have a good friend from college. Over the years, we had sex a few times when neither of us was attached. Why? Because we could. We're both fine with it, but his wife would flip if he ever spent a minute alone with me now. Our friendship primarily exists by e-mail and holiday cards at this point. We know that nothing would ever happen, our friendship has always been our primary relationship, but his wife will never feel comfortable with that. While she would probably be jealous of our friendship, regardless of the fact that we did have sex a handful of times over a 10 year period, but without the sex, it would have been easier to stand up to her insecurities.

As Tish said, no one can predict the outcome. Maybe you should spend more time with just each other, deciding if you would also want to pursue a relationship before going there. Sort of like making sure the risks you would be taking would be worth it, KWIM?







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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2006
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 12:00pm

i forgot to add that he and i share very similar fantasies and preferences. usually he likes to be the one in control sexually, and that is exactly what i neeeeed. we'll stay up late watching movies and he touches my skin and massages me. we come so close sometimes! there are so many things telling me it would work, but so many things telling me it might not. he's always joking around to his parents and mine when we go visit them that i'm the girl he's gonna marry someday and silly stuff like that. everyone likes the idea of it, except for my brother. i suppose there would be no other way to find out other than to test it...

i will definitely talk to him about the what ifs. the problem is, i am developing a "crush" on him and i don't want to get hurt.

thanks for replying everyone :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2007
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 1:28pm

omg...*misty*


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 6:33pm
It would probably be wise to figure out what you really want out of the relationship, if it were to progress, before you go any further.

 

Avatar for sweetpea262t
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 8:10pm

Hi Earthenangel,


I read your post and felt compelled to reply...I also have a "friend".