Should I or Shouldn't I?
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Should I or Shouldn't I?
| Wed, 09-22-2004 - 2:53pm |
Hello All,
I've just recently started in a two year college, where I'm currently living in the dorms. This college here is rather small and the ratios of guys to girls are 9 to 1. I think it's worse than that there' only 15 girls in the dorms and 7 of which aren't here almost the whole year, then there's about 80 guys but I only ever see the same 30 or so. Anyways I really would like to settle down and aim for marriage, the problem is, in college you can't do that. In two years everyone will be heading their seperate ways and you'll end up having to sacrificce your dream and hard work or have a broken heart. So in meantime I was thinking maybe an exclusive sex partner might be an idea. I've had sex with one person here but I did not like it at all. So I do not plan on that one again. But I imagine with the ratio being how it is and me being one of the very few females I shouldn't have a problem. But is this really such a good idea?
I've just recently started in a two year college, where I'm currently living in the dorms. This college here is rather small and the ratios of guys to girls are 9 to 1. I think it's worse than that there' only 15 girls in the dorms and 7 of which aren't here almost the whole year, then there's about 80 guys but I only ever see the same 30 or so. Anyways I really would like to settle down and aim for marriage, the problem is, in college you can't do that. In two years everyone will be heading their seperate ways and you'll end up having to sacrificce your dream and hard work or have a broken heart. So in meantime I was thinking maybe an exclusive sex partner might be an idea. I've had sex with one person here but I did not like it at all. So I do not plan on that one again. But I imagine with the ratio being how it is and me being one of the very few females I shouldn't have a problem. But is this really such a good idea?

Well, that is something only you can answer.
so, being that you are a woman surrounded by men, sounds like you pretty much have your pick of the litter. get to know these guys and see if there is potential for something meaningful with one of them.
i ended up getting together with a guy who lived in my dorm, mostly because it was convenient. as much as i tried to set myself boundaries, i still did get quite attached to him. then, as graduation approached, we both ended up getting job offers in the same city, so we didn't have to break up after all. we ended up staying together for 2 more years after school ended, and we even talked about marriage (although in the end it wasn't meant to be).
so, i say, don't overthink this too much! if you meet someone you want to spend time with, just go for it and see where it takes you. life's too unpredictable to try to plan it all in advance.
I don't think the exclusive sexual relationship without emotional involvement plan is a very good idea. It just will not work. It will either be emotional or short lived or non-exclusive or some disastrous combination. I have never known anywone to pull off the friends with benefits idea for very long.
Although I find nothing wrong with aiming for a long-term relationship, I'm not so certain that it NEEDS to be done , nor do I think that it should be done by simply picking the best of the litter that is currently within immediate reach.
I feel it'd be wiser to , wait for the best, wait for what is best for you, both of you...
...rather than rushing into 'any' decent relationship by choosing from an immediate selection within reach and thats it.
You're also very wise to focus on what a man can offer your future together, but only as long as it doesn't place unrealistic expectations on him and your relationship.
Just speaking from experience. Hope the two cents provide some ideas for ya. :)
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Mr. Para
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