Should I worry or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2007
Should I worry or not?
3
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 8:10pm

This is a bit embarrassing for me to ask but I am giong to ask.

I have not had sex in 5 1/2 years since my husband passes away. I thought I should wait and become mentally stable before dating again. I just recently had sex with a friend of mine and although he is normal length wise, girth is something to speak of, large. After sex I started to bleed a bit (bright red). There was no pain or cramping and he was not rough and I did not have a problem staying wet. Could it be a tear from the length of time since last sexual encounter? There has not been any penetration from sexual devices in that time either. Last pap test showed all was good and clean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 11:10pm

If it was just some spotting, I wouldn't worry too much. If it was a lot of blood, I would see a doctor. It is possible that the lapse in your sexual activity since your husband passed away made you tighter and more likely to tear a little bit, especially if this new fellow is wider.

If this continues, talk to your doctor about it. It doesn't hurt to talk to a doctor anyway, to better understand what is "okay" and what is dangerous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 11:39pm

It was your first time since your husband died, it was a new man, and you were probably nervous. When you're nervous, you don't lubricate well. That's probably all it was. If the blood was bright red, it was probably a little tear in the opening. It wasn't internal bleeding which would be darker in color. It'll probably be fine, and heal within a few days. If you get very sore, or the bleeding continues, then see your gyno.

Next time, use some extra lubricant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 9:27am

I have had this too and trust me, it passes through time. It was probably just a little tear that needs to heal and when it does, all will be well. Sometimes when you haven't had sex for a long period of time, the hymen heals over a little bit (it is rare but it happens as it is tissue and tissue is known to regenerate) so it was more than likely this. Sometimes when you are not lubricated enough, though you may think you are, it becomes tight and can tear a touch. Relax and enjoy. If the bleeding persists, see your doctor, but it doesn't hurt to see one now if it puts your mind at rest. But try not to worry too much. If you worry too much, when you have sex again you will tense up and more than likely produce the same outcome.

good luck x