Should a virgin get a sex toy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
Should a virgin get a sex toy?
10
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 12:14am
I am currently a virgin and very interested in getting a vibrator or some kind of sex toy in general. However, I am not sure if I should wait until I am no longer a virgin. It kind of seems like if I got a toy, I'd be taking my virginity from myself and that seems a bit odd to me. I am also worried about how any future lovers might feel about it, yet at the same time, I am tired of maturbating without any kind of penetration and I think it might be a good thing if I get the first time over with by myself so I can enjoy sex completely whenever I find someone. If anyone has any advice, please post!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 12:44am

Yes, get a sex toy by all means, if that's what you want. From the many posts that we see here on the boards, a virgin with a sex toy is NOT a rare thing. I personally have never considered that using a sex toy could be considered "taking your own virginity" as I have always considered that to be something that requires a real live penis and intercourse. I suppose thinking in that manner you could consider using a tampon as taking your own virginity. I just don't think that there is any reason to view it that way. Loosing your virginity is about having intercourse for the first time with a real live man, not playing around with a sex toy.

You could always compromise, I suppose. There are plenty of small and unusually shaped sex toys that vibrate but are designed to be used externally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 1:13am

As Westridge said, you can't "take" your own virginity. You're a virgin until you have intercourse with a man and his penis.

I think you're a little confused about "toys"......the vibration is for the clitoris, not for your vagina, although you could use it that way. And, using that in any way isn't going to "get it out of the way" for when you are with a man.

No matter how much or often you use a toy, that is NOTHING like being with a man, and there are no feelings or inhibitions with a toy. There ARE with a man, until you get used to being with him.

By all means, if you want a toy, get a toy.....but don't even imagine that it will be anything like a real live human partner.....it's not. And penetration, whether with a toy, or a man is NOT the be all end all of sex.....for most of us, it has to be combined with clitoral stimulation to really appreciate it. Don't place too many false expectations on a toy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 7:51am
I agree with Westie and Greenteabag.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 4:27pm
yes get a toy. I had my toy before I was w/ an actual man. Not only it prepared me for the sexual intercourse, but i knew my body so well that i had orgasms right away when i started having sex.
Get to know your body!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 6:01pm
You aren't going to lose your virginity with a toy. As far as future lovers go, they'll probably be happy and relieved that you know what your body responds to.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 1:55am

Just remember, men don't vibrate, so getting used to one kind of stimulation CAN set you up for problems later on. IF you can't respond to your own manual stimulation to orgasm yet, then that's where you should start. A man can learn to replicate what you do with your own fingers, but he'll never be able to replicate those vibrations!

And as GTB said, a dildo or vibrator won't feel the same as an erection. YOU'RE controlling those, but there will be a real man attached to the former.




Edited 6/28/2005 1:58 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 8:28pm
ummm darling, you can't loose your virginity unless a penis in entered in you not a dildo...i mean okay so your cherry can pop but its still called masturbation not sexual intercourse...ummm if you get a vibrator...a reccomendation is the poket rocket...not ness. for insurtion...i mean vibrators are basically so clit stimulation...and orgasms are WONDERFUL...its up to you though...some people say that its better because you know what you like before having someone else trying to figure it out...plus i think that once you actually have sex you'll be happy you did it. good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sat, 07-02-2005 - 12:50am
Hey lillalove!
As a guy I most likely would not mind if my gf used a sex toy. One word of caution though - don't get one that's too big (I've seen a few that were absolutely HUGE) as you could be disappointed in the future with your "real" love as most of us guys are nowhere near as large as alot of those toys. Get one as long as your hand and no bigger around than the "O" made by your middle finger and thumb. Should fit you like a glove and have you purring like a happy kitten.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Sat, 07-02-2005 - 9:00pm

Lillalove

I am also a virgin, and understand your concern. That said, however, please know that you cannot "loose" your virginity to a sex toy.

Also, as many have said, it will actually help you discover pleasure points on your body.

I recenlty purchased a toy and was very happy with the results. Not only did I get more intuned with my body, but I am no longer afraid of penetration. I'm not sure about you, but I must say I was a bit apprehensive of the idea of something so large entering my body.......

Bottom line, it gave me confidance, and knowledge of my pleasure points. I would definatley recommend making the purchase!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Sun, 07-03-2005 - 9:52pm
Baby, orgasms are a too great a thing to wait for! Although I don't remember who posted this earlier but I agree with the idea of learning to cum with your fingers before you use a vibrator otherwise you won't know what a guy (or girl) can do to help you out when you do start having sex. Please enjoy, like I said before, orgasms are amazing (!) and are such a vital part of relaxing and learning to love and use your body to do all the amazing things it can do. Enjoy and please don't be shy or ashamed, most sex shops are filled with employees who are helpful and not at all bashful to tell it to you like it is. Good luck.