Should a virgin get a sex toy?
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Should a virgin get a sex toy?
| Mon, 06-27-2005 - 12:14am |
I am currently a virgin and very interested in getting a vibrator or some kind of sex toy in general. However, I am not sure if I should wait until I am no longer a virgin. It kind of seems like if I got a toy, I'd be taking my virginity from myself and that seems a bit odd to me. I am also worried about how any future lovers might feel about it, yet at the same time, I am tired of maturbating without any kind of penetration and I think it might be a good thing if I get the first time over with by myself so I can enjoy sex completely whenever I find someone. If anyone has any advice, please post!

Yes, get a sex toy by all means, if that's what you want. From the many posts that we see here on the boards, a virgin with a sex toy is NOT a rare thing. I personally have never considered that using a sex toy could be considered "taking your own virginity" as I have always considered that to be something that requires a real live penis and intercourse. I suppose thinking in that manner you could consider using a tampon as taking your own virginity. I just don't think that there is any reason to view it that way. Loosing your virginity is about having intercourse for the first time with a real live man, not playing around with a sex toy.
You could always compromise, I suppose. There are plenty of small and unusually shaped sex toys that vibrate but are designed to be used externally.
As Westridge said, you can't "take" your own virginity. You're a virgin until you have intercourse with a man and his penis.
I think you're a little confused about "toys"......the vibration is for the clitoris, not for your vagina, although you could use it that way. And, using that in any way isn't going to "get it out of the way" for when you are with a man.
No matter how much or often you use a toy, that is NOTHING like being with a man, and there are no feelings or inhibitions with a toy. There ARE with a man, until you get used to being with him.
By all means, if you want a toy, get a toy.....but don't even imagine that it will be anything like a real live human partner.....it's not. And penetration, whether with a toy, or a man is NOT the be all end all of sex.....for most of us, it has to be combined with clitoral stimulation to really appreciate it. Don't place too many false expectations on a toy.
Get to know your body!
Just remember, men don't vibrate, so getting used to one kind of stimulation CAN set you up for problems later on. IF you can't respond to your own manual stimulation to orgasm yet, then that's where you should start. A man can learn to replicate what you do with your own fingers, but he'll never be able to replicate those vibrations!
And as GTB said, a dildo or vibrator won't feel the same as an erection. YOU'RE controlling those, but there will be a real man attached to the former.
Edited 6/28/2005 1:58 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
As a guy I most likely would not mind if my gf used a sex toy. One word of caution though - don't get one that's too big (I've seen a few that were absolutely HUGE) as you could be disappointed in the future with your "real" love as most of us guys are nowhere near as large as alot of those toys. Get one as long as your hand and no bigger around than the "O" made by your middle finger and thumb. Should fit you like a glove and have you purring like a happy kitten.
Lillalove
I am also a virgin, and understand your concern. That said, however, please know that you cannot "loose" your virginity to a sex toy.
Also, as many have said, it will actually help you discover pleasure points on your body.
I recenlty purchased a toy and was very happy with the results. Not only did I get more intuned with my body, but I am no longer afraid of penetration. I'm not sure about you, but I must say I was a bit apprehensive of the idea of something so large entering my body.......
Bottom line, it gave me confidance, and knowledge of my pleasure points. I would definatley recommend making the purchase!