silence in the north

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2004
silence in the north
12
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 12:52am
silence is not golden ?!! or is it? so this starts my question,as it goes my wife is not very vocal when making love,she's not complete silence but not as vocal as most women would be,I think? (or I would wish she was more of) sometimes she makes me feel i'm not doing enough,but believe me I give 110% i would sooner get her off then myself I've tried to talk about it with her but she gets real defensive so i don't bring it up and I am vocal(i like to talk dirty) and she doesn't seem to mind..but still it seems like i'm missing something,or am i more worried about stroking my own ego?
But after 20 yrs marriage( i'm 43 shes 42) things tend to get a little routine i think i could set my watch to or sex routine in the bedroom but that's another story.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 1:03am

The best lover I ever had was all but silent. I'll bet the quieter she gets, the more over-the-top turned on she is. Fret not.

Still water runs deep.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 1:16am

I'll bet more women are like your wife than are "vocal" in bed. Noise is not an indicator of pleasure. If you're giving 110%, then she's happy. Don't believe everything you see in movies, or in porn.....because that's NOT real life.

If you're that bored, then why don't YOU introduce some new stuff. You say she doesn't make noise, so maybe she's "reserved" and if so, she'll never introduce anything new either, but I'll be she wouldn't object if you did it.

20 years of the same old same old would get boring for anyone.....so get busy and spice it up!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 2:12am
I had the same problem. For me, sounds are not only a turn on, but a form of communication. When my boyfriend hits the right spot, I get louder. But when I'd go down on him, it was a few sighs here or there, but not much else. I talked to him about it, and he just shrugged and said he just goes with how he feels. Now, sometimes he's louder, and other times he's silent. I just live with it and trust that I'm doing alright lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 11:41am
I am very vocal in bed and have lovers comment on how vocal I am (they liked it of course). However, I have always be really quiet when I cum. I don't really no why I just have been. My bf has gotten me to change that a little though because he would ask him that tell him when I was cuming so now I will tell him and make a little noise, but I am still much quieter when I cum. So I won't really worry about it lack of noise. I would agree though, that I also like noice and enjoy dirty talk.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2004
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 11:52am

When you say she's not vocal, do you mean she doesn't talk? or hardly any noise at all?
Some women just can't talk. I'm noisy (moan, moan, moan, oh oh yeah...) but I'm so in the moment I wouldn't be able to think of a thing to say, except maybe "don't stop!" My thinking brain literally shuts down and I only feel.

If she's totally quiet, but obviously enjoying it, maybe she's just concentrating on how good it feels. My husband is exactly the same way, he's SO quiet. Only his breathing changes. BUT he's having a fabulous time!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2004
Sat, 12-25-2004 - 3:31am
thanks for your commments maybe the grass isn't always greener in the next pasture and learn just to enjoy what you have together,..and to answer your question she just not"sexual noisy" if that makes sense?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Sat, 12-25-2004 - 3:59am

I love to make A LOT of noise.

Maybe because I'm a pretty shy girl outside of the bedroom/shower/backseat/floor... Well you get the picture

But I do think it's cool to try and be real quiet sometimes. That's a turn on for me as well. It's not easy, and I usually don't succeed, but for a while I can be fairly quiet.

Well, maybe you could turn it to you... Like this: "Honey, is there anything I could do for you/to you sexually that you would really enjoy?"

Just to get her talking... I dunno. Once she gets talking, try some of those things, however little, and maybe she will moan in pleasure.

I don't know what else to tell you though. Sorry!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Sat, 12-25-2004 - 4:03am
I am the same. I can't make noise when I cum. It's impossible. LOL Like SYSTEM:OVERLOAD! But it is awesome.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 12-25-2004 - 9:34am

It's just the way she is, she isn't as vocal as you.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 3:27pm

Hi O:


My wife and I have spiced things up by starting sex in another room; we end up in the bedroom.

 

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