'Size doesn't matter' contradictions
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'Size doesn't matter' contradictions
| Sun, 04-20-2008 - 10:18am |
There are some women who say size doesn't matter. Now I can believe that, but
| Sun, 04-20-2008 - 10:18am |
There are some women who say size doesn't matter. Now I can believe that, but
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I think this is the fourth or fifth thread on this topic over the past few months. But this one's the most intense. Some random thoughts:
1. Sisterhoney's right about obsession. The male focus on size is probably more about other issues, and the question about what Been-There would do with a larger penis suggests this. Chances are, if provided a bigger penis, most men would then focus on something else and let that become a fixation. I do know that most men obsess about their height, hair loss, build, etc. Men have just as many body image issues as women do, they just feel inadequate discussing them...anywhere except message boards.
2. Most women are fine with the size of their men...because the great majority of men do indeed fall within the boundaries of average: 5.5" to 6.5". Penises larger than that are "okay" but not always a good thing. Men with avg penises, obsessing over this are most definitely victims of what internet porn is feeding them: enormous penises and women wriggling in delight at being "stuffed." Fact is, most of the men in internet porn wear phony phallises. You can see it. Regardless, men are falling for this and are being led to believe that every other man out there has a huge penis. Not true.
3. What women have to remember or understand is that when a man is nude, he is completely vulnerable. We do indeed feel very very judged by our partner and how we compare physically to her previous partners. That vulnerability is real and unnerving at times. Alex Comfort wrote that the penis is like "a third party" and that in a good sex scene it becomes "her penis." Jeez. As much as a I respect Comfort's opinion, that there heaps on the importance of the penis and, as a result, leads to greater obsession.
4. There are instances where size is a issue. As mentioned in a previous thread, I top out at 4" erect. Thats is certainly "below average." My whole life, small penis = small man (even though I'm 6 feet tall). And size fears lead to performance anxiety which leads to ED.
5. The fact that we are seeing this issue come up so often suggests that men need to discuss this but do not have the outlet to do so. This isn't something a guy talks about with his male friends. It's not something a guy wll discuss in therapy, either.
I remember one of the most deflating moments in my life: I had a crush on a woman with whom I'd been friends for a couple of years. I was about ready to express my feelings for her when one night, when I was out with her and her friends, the topic of penises came up and
OK here's my take on it, since I gave myself a headache reading this ENTIRE thread...
sakura2006 wrote: "Since you're a number person, then you must realize that the percentages are in your favor to meet one of those "MOST women" who don't really care.
Speaking for myself, I can truly say that I have yet to have my first bad one.
I've never had a "bad orgasm" but I've had many "mediocre" orgasms.
For example, I orgasm best through vaginal penetration and clitoral orgasms seem pretty mediocre to me in comparison to g-spot orgasms and anal orgasms.
A man needs a little length to hit that special anal spot that makes me orgasm and he needs good thickness to make me orgasm vaginally...
Can you give us any indication of just what the cut-off might be size wise to meet your requirements?
Been, when you say "care" about, what exactly are you referring to?
I think this is a good point, and definitely is an indication of why polls really can't be completely accurate. You're asking what they are doing different ... there also needs to be the value that all of the women polled enjoy sex equally. Given that there are many women who don't ever have orgasms, or don't have them until they are older and more comfortable with their lover, I would think those women would have different answers even with the same lover compared to a woman who is having orgasms during intercourse.
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Nothing under 5inches, nothing over 8.
And girth has to be decent but I've never actually measured.
I've had sex with a few "teeny wheeny" guys and I simply couldn't get an awesome orgasm from it. I mean, it was *ok* but not excellent.
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