slow dance erection

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
slow dance erection
20
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 9:57pm

Does anyone have a happy and fun story about slow dancing with someone who gets an erection? My story doesn't have a happy ending :(

Last year I used to get teased because one of my coworkers had a major crush on me. Although he worked in a different department, he would find some excuse to come by my desk and see me almost every day. He didn't hit on me or make suggestive remarks like most of the men at work. He was always sweet and gentlemanly. And you could tell he was shy around women even though he was a good looking guy who had just graduated college and a lot of the women at work were interested in him. They used to call him my "puppy" because he would follow me from place to place. And there were many times when he would bring me lunch when I looked busy at work. He knew I was happily married and never outwardly flirted with me or suggested we get together outside of work. But at last year's office Christmas party, I think he must have had a couple of drinks because he apparently found the courage to ask me to dance. This was a surprise for me but since the song wasn't a slow dance, I said yes. I hadn't slow danced with anyone other than my husband since I got married. But after the first song, they played a slow dance ("Hero" by Enrique Iglasias) that I love. So when he gently pulled me close to him, I didn't resist. And right then, against my belly, I could feel his "package." And he only stayed soft for a moment. As we moved, I could feel his penis quickly growing inch by inch. And a moment later, he was as hard as a rock! And I couldn't help myself...I giggled. When he asked me why I was giggling, I laughlingly said, "You know why!" He got so embarrassed. But he quickly recovered and we laughed it off. After the dance, he went to get a drink and I didn't see him again that night. But it didn't end there. Because after that party, he never came by my desk again and the only times I saw him were just in passing around the office. I felt terrible because he is such a nice guy and I think I unintentionally hurt him. I couldn't chase him down and say something to him about it because I didn't want him to get the wrong impression or give the office gossips something to talk about. I was planning on waiting until this year's Christmas party and surprising him by asking HIM to dance. But I found out today that he moved out of state yesterday. I never got to say goodbye or anything. I feel like crying :(

So if anyone can tell me a more happy story, I'd love to hear it.

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 11:49am

I think you need to give yourself a break. You didn't intentionally hurt or embarrass this guy, if you did.

He had a crush on a married woman so he shouldn't have expected anything to come of it. You didn't do anything to feel guilty about nor apologize for. I'm sure he knew that you weren't being mean either.

And I've had many instances, before marriage, where a guy got an erection while slow dancing with me. Most of the time, I just ignored it but it makes the situation VERY uncomfortable if you don't know them well or at all!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 12:02pm

Maritza,

This is a pretty common occurance with men and not a big deal. I suspect what happened is that he realized after that evening that he had (in his own mind) crossed a boundry that he knew wasn't safe. He may have been a little embarrassed, but I thought that you handled the situation VERY well.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 3:32pm

Sorry, I don't have a story but a comment. My immediate reaction to your post was that if I were your man, I would be pist. I'm sorry but in your case, you knew that a slow dance shouldn't have happened in the first place because the only reason you felt it was ok to dance w/him was because it was not a slow dance. When that song came on, I don't care if its your favorite song of all time, you should not have slow danced w/another guy especially that guy.

And on top of just dancing with him, after you felt him rubbing on you and eventually getting a hard on!!! you should have stopped dancing w/him. And the fact that you wanted to dance with him again and/or say goodbye before he left so badly, just bothers me. If my wife ever did something like that, there would be problems. Not only with my wife, but with that guy who was up on mine knowing about me.

jerz

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 5:14pm
My DH would feel the same way you do, Jerz, but not all couples have the same perimeters or boundaries in their marriages. Some may not feel that a dance is inappropriate, even a slow one. I don't think the OP needs to be made to feel guilty about something that's in the past now though. She's human, she was probably flattered that an attractive single man had a crush on her but if nothing happened, then it's not worth feeling badly about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 7:35am
When I was in high school, there were dances after every football game in the cafeteria. A group of girls would step out into the hallway every time a slow song started. I think they were afraid of erections and what to do if one happened. As for us guys, we wanted to slow dance. I belonged to a group of socially slow boys, and a slow dance was about the only way we thought we could feel a girl's body close to ours. If we got an erection, so much the better!
Avatar for elainetwirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 9:31am
While I think it is important to have boundaries, I have to say that I love it when I dance with a man and he gets an erection. Elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 6:21pm

Don't worry about what happened with your co-worked... as some guy said, he probably felt he had crossed the line, that's all.

About my story... That's the reason of my nickname! (bailarina means "dancer" in spanish!!)
I once told my friends about this time dancing blues on a first date... He got hard, and although it felt embarrasing, I was also very "proud", maybe sounds stupid, but I felt I was attractive enough for him!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 7:02pm
I remember when I was about 13, I experienced my first boy getting an erection when we slow danced. Wow. I was startled, embarrassed, flattered, very turned on, and overall, I loved it.
After this happened to me a few times, I realized how easy it was to turn boys on. I looked forward to slow dances and was almost disappointed if the boy didn't get an erection, which was most of the time. But I must say that it always gave me a great sense of power. I find it amusing that boys have absolutely no control of "it".
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 7:23pm
I don't think that it would worry me too much if my partner slow danced with a guy and he got an erection. Provided she wasn't doing anything behind my back. Fact of life, guys often get erections during slow dances, and sometimes you're going to run into a guy that thinks that your partner is a hottie. Not his fault that she's with someone-else. I trust my partner enough to know that she's not going to be chasing the guy while she's with me. If she told me what happened, if anything, I'd probably be amused and vaguely aroused. I guess that it's just a warm fuzzy feeling and maybe a little ego boost knowing that other guys find her attractive and she's mine, not theirs.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 12:53am

Yep, as I said...couples have different perimeters and boundaries in their relationships. However, my DH wouldn't be worried about ME in that situation, he'd be more concerned about the motives of the man in question. He trusts me implicitly.

But he knows that some men (and women, needless to say) only get turned on by what they can't have! And it's not necessarily that the man considers the woman a "hottie" either...he may only be responding to the friction!

I think he feels that a man who would get aroused with a woman that he knows is married, is being disrespectful to the husband, as well as the woman. But I would probably be less offended by it than he would.

I'm sure if a woman was reacting to HIM as obviously in that situation, then I would probably feel the same. LOL!




Edited 9/6/2005 1:03 am ET ET by katmandoo2001

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