Slut in the bedroom??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2004
Slut in the bedroom??
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Tue, 06-15-2004 - 3:10pm
A man on another post said that all men want a slut in the bedroom. I've always heard this growing up too. Isn't a slut a woman who is dirty and services men? The dictionary definition is:

A woman considered sexually promiscuous.

A woman prostitute.

A slovenly woman; a slattern

All negative, IMO.

I love and enjoy sex to it's fullest potential. Considering the fact that this is the twenty-first century, I think that it's about over due that we come up with a better associated word other than "slut" for a women who enjoys sex(particularly sex within a monogomous relationship). It's very offensive that women who enjoy sex are compared with a person who has little or no self-respect and who is most likely not respected by the men she's having sex with.

Additionally, not all women have to act like sluts(servicing men). I believe that a woman can be extremely sexy and sexual just by being themselves. Which may be the furthest thing from being slutty. It may be she has a sweet, natural, demeaner.






Edited 6/15/2004 4:19 pm ET ET by franciesfancy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 3:22pm
WOW. I really didn't mean to stir the waters so badly. LOL I think that even though there were lots of Yawns in this thread, it was a good discussion. There were several points that made excellent sense, then there were some that were the same ole nonsense. Nothing can be said without someone taking offense to it. But, when used, any word in the dictionary can have a good meaning. Or at least an acceptable one. I do see a major difference between calling a woman a slut, and saying that she is a "slut in the bedroom". And anyone that does not agree with that, is, well, intitled to there opinion. And that is fine with me. All I know is I want a "Slut in the bedroom" and any woman that has a problem with that phraze, isn't going to turn me on. LOL Dirty talk or not, she has to talk the talk and walk the walk. A lady in public, and you all know the rest.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 3:46pm
Yes, overall, a good discussion of the subject. A slut is a slut though. A slut is a slattern or indiscriminate woman and that's NOT me.

But I don't call my DH derogatory names in the bedroom so I wouldn't appreciate a man who used them to describe me either. I'm a healthy, sexually mature woman, so, IMO, no other label is necessary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 3:49pm
>>I'm a healthy, sexually mature woman, so, IMO, no other label is necessary.<<

I don't like the implication that men and women who choose to use it playfully are somehow unhealthy and sexually immature.

Leticia

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 4:20pm
Sorry, but the implication was not intentionally inferred.

I was referring to my physicality.....being physically healthy and sexually mature, and that's why I enjoy sex. And it's my belief that MOST women do.

Women who enjoy sex are not the anomaly that the label infers. It was not a comment on the emotional or mental sexual maturity of anyone else.

The word, for me, is offensive and always derogatory. I have already acknowledged that some women feel differently.


Edited 6/17/2004 4:22 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 4:33pm
>>Sorry, but the implication was not intentionally inferred.<<

Glad it was just a misunderstanding.

>>I was referring to my physicality.....being physically healthy and sexually mature, and that's why I enjoy sex. And it's my belief that MOST women do.<<

I totally agree with that. My older sister is the only one I know of right now who doesn't, but she is also dealing with depression and the two seem to go hand in hand for her.

>>Women who enjoy sex are not the anomaly that the label infers. It was not a comment on the emotional or mental sexual maturity of anyone else.<<

I never took it that way, but I guess I see how you could see it that way. Basically, are you saying that since most women aren't considered sluts, that a slut in the bedroom would be unusual and that's why you don't like it?(besides the negative meaning for you)

>>The word, for me, is offensive and always derogatory. I have already acknowledged that some women feel differently<<

I wasn't arguing that. I can accept that you don't like it.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 4:40pm
"Basically, are you saying that since most women aren't considered sluts, that a slut in the bedroom would be unusual and that's why you don't like it?(besides the negative meaning for you)"

That's what the OP was trying to get across.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 4:46pm
I wish men could just accept that a normal, average woman enjoys sex without the need to label her as something she isn't. I can accept that in some relationships, the word has less implication.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 4:54pm
"All I know is I want a "Slut in the bedroom" and any woman that has a problem with that phraze, isn't going to turn me on."

I'm going to assume that you haven't had any real sluts in your bed, Jeep, and only real lascivious-women. Which is why it is so perplexing that you wouldn't make the connection that real-non-sluts are capable of unihibited, down and dirty sex. If anything, wouldn't you think that a slut should aspire to be more like the women who were in your bed, including your SO, rather than the other way around? ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 4:55pm
ITA Kat. If anything, the sluts should aspire to be more like sexually healthy appetited(I know that's not a word), women.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 4:59pm
>>That's what the OP was trying to get across.<<

I undertsand it, even if I don't agree with it LOL.

Leticia

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