Slut?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2006
Slut?
35
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 1:15am

I have a friend that until recently I thought to be promisquous. However, after she told me that she had a "great" weekend, sleeping with three different guys in three days, I couldn't help but question what I thought. The first guy she is in a "relationship" with. (the relationship is just for sex as far as she is concerned. Im not sure of his view) The second guy is a co-worker. Christmas party aftermath. The third is an ex she has been on and off fighting with for past year. She had a hotel room and mentioned to her ex she was alone in the room. He just shows up un-announced and the deed was done. Im not sure what to think of this. If it was a story I heard of someone else I would probably say "what a slut". Am i over re-acting or is she slutty?

Thanks in advance for any comments.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
In reply to: kiloguy
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 4:45pm
"Slut" is a judgement, and I'm not sure why you think you're in a position to be judging this woman. She sounds to me like she's simply someone who enjoys sex, and unless she's forcing others to participate against their will, you're probably best off not to have an opinion.

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martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963

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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: kiloguy
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 10:03pm

I suppose if she does this regularly then yeah, plenty of people would call her a "slut". But that's just a label and a matter of opinion too. Some would say that she's assertive and in control of her sexuality. And of course others say "Hey, what is she was a guy? Guys are cool if they get three women in one weekend". Mind you, I'm not sure that I'd be overly impressed with a guy that regularly bagged three women every weekend myself - he'd be sailing close to "male slut" territory as far as I was concerned.

What you think is really entirely up to you though. You have your boundaries. She has hers. Although you might disagree on where those boundaries are, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is a "bad" person. If you want to be her friend I'm not sure that friends view one another so negatively either. After-all, "slut" has plenty of negative connotations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
In reply to: kiloguy
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 8:50pm

What is the statue of limitation for bagging a guy? 3 different guys in 9 days, 3 different guys in 3 weeks. Where does the gal go from slut to sexual, 3 different guys in 3 months? I never read the book so I don't how the score is kept.

Either be the ladies friend or leave her alone.

Rich

 Rich, good to the last drop

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: kiloguy
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 8:56pm

Hmmm........I never read that book either, maybe it's doing 3 guys in 3 minutes???


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: kiloguy
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 4:21pm
I would say your friend has lost the "specialness" of what sex can mean. To her sex is nothing more than a hand shake with an orgasm. Too bad, it is way better than that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
In reply to: kiloguy
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 5:19pm
How can you know what sort of "specialness" sex has for her? Perhaps from her perspective, you're missing out on a full sex life by not taking advantage of all the opportunities out there.

--


martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963

--


martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: kiloguy
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 5:28pm
I know sex has little meaning to people when they refer to it as "just sex" It is nothing more than a form of masturbating with a little help from their friends. I had sex both ways....emotional vs. emotionless......No comparison. People who have lots of sexual partners kind of become callous to true intimacy that sex can provide. But maybe that is what they are looking for, an escape with no connection. To each his own.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
In reply to: kiloguy
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 11:12pm
I don't see anything wrong with what she's doing. If she was making it with 3 different guys every weekend I might be concerned about the risks to her health, though. Do you think that you qualify as a prig or a prude? If you're going to start judging people, then you should be prepared to be judged as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
In reply to: kiloguy
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 11:17pm
I've always tended to agree with Art Garfunkel's character in 'Carnal Knowledge' when he said "Maybe we're not supposed to enjoy it with someone we love."
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: kiloguy
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 3:30am
Not supposed to enjoy it with someone we love???..thats a pretty ridiculous statement, dont you think?