sluts - what's the attraction????

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
sluts - what's the attraction????
32
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 10:49am
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Edited 8/26/2008 6:08 pm ET by inacolada

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 11:00am
First of all, saying someone is a *slut/whore* is in the eye of the beholder.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 11:11am
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Edited 8/26/2008 6:09 pm ET by inacolada
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 11:22am
Typical profile of the clientele of prostitutes:

http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/lcj/working/ch4-5.html

(highlight)

Very few studies have been made of clients of prostitutes (in Table 1.1 studies of mates generally in prostitution are less than I per cent of all prostitution studies). Charles Winick (1962, p. 289) was one of the first psychologists to focus on clients. In his study of 732 men who frequented prostitutes he argued that men who seek sex from prostitutes are disturbed in some way, evidence which has received much the same scepticism from later researchers as the earlier claims about prostitutes by psychoanalysts. More substantial was Martha Stein's (I 974) study of 1,230 clients of 64 American call girls. Hers was a remarkable piece of research involving observation and some psychoanalysis, by which she devised nine "types" of clients. Since many of the clients discussed by prostitutes in the present study seemed to fall into one or more of these "types", Stein's typology serves as good basic categorisation of a general client population.

The Opportunists: treat prostitutes purely as sexual repositories, establish no relationship with any of the women, and have minimal contact with them.

The Fraternisers: visit prostitutes in pairs or groups. Their visits are mainly male social affairs involving women only as peripheral companions.

The Promoters: seek personal satisfaction and peer prestige by encouraging other men to visit prostitutes they know. In return they expect emotional support from the women and a kind of non-sexual relationship with them.

The Adventurers: are mostly young men seeking sexual experimentation. They require a kind of therapeutic relationship with the women during their sexual explorations.

The Lovers: seek romantic attachments with prostitutes. They are usually older men who wish to rescue the women from a life of crime and corruption.

The Friends: are usually married, middle-aged and seek to have prostitutes as companions or second wives supplying sex on demand.

The Guardians: are usually the oldest "type". They see themselves as protectors of young prostitutes, perceived as "child-women".

The Juveniles: can be of any age but usually single. They prefer older prostitutes for the opposite reason to the "Guardians" seeking the younger ones. They want mother-figures.

The Slaves: wish to be dominated by prostitutes and seek humiliation in order to express homosexual, infantile, transvestite or exhibitionist fantasies.







iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 3:44pm
Slut. If there was one word that I'd like to see banned from the English language - that would be it.

To the O/P. I have no idea why a man would visit a prostitute - I don't understand the attraction at all.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 11:45pm
The use of the word "slut" is usually reserved for someone of low morals....that will have sex with anyone, FREE. I guess you could call a prostitute a slut, too, but in either case, that's YOUR judgement. Your question would make more sense to most people if you asked why a man would pay a prostitute when he can go to any bar and pick up a "slut" for nothing but the cost of a drink or two.

And in many cases, the answer is that some men want to pay for the services, and be done with it. Unless she's a street walker, she's more than likely disease free.....and she expects nothing from the man but payment. A casual pick up in a bar can want or expect more....like feelings, or a second date. Married men will go to prostitutes....when they have a wife at home. Maybe because the prostitute will do things the wife refuses to do. I've also heard some women interviewed on TV......and they say that many married men just want to talk!

Since no government has ever been able to put a stop to prostitution....there's obviously a market for it. The smarter governments (the state of Nevada, and many european countries) have made it legal, and regulate it. No business could continue to exist if there weren't customers, and for every customer, there's probably a different reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 7:55am
LIke Greenteabag said, the reasons are as varied as people themselves. If you're looking for a one-reason-fits-all, you won't find it.

I would imagine the number one purpose is immediate gratification. There's *no* guaranteed that the woman you pick up in a bar is going to have sex with you in a few hours. Not every single woman in a bar is looking for a pickup, contrary to old beliefs. I know from what my DH's told me, when he was in Europe (where prostitution is treated as **Business** and not as a **Sin**), he was young, horny and guaranteed of a sure thing with a pro. He was very shy at the time and not at all sexually experienced. There were no entanglements, emotions, no expectations beyond a business transaction, no girl saying "Will you call me????" and "Why didn't you call me???" and "Someone told me you were out with another girl last week..." kind of stuff. He wanted a service and paid for services rendered.

Another reason I read about in 'Mayflower Madam' (interesting book BTW, and a good argument for legalizing and regulating prostitution) is that many men are intimidated by the new sexual woman, whether they realize it or not. With a prostitute, there is a woman there solely for *his* pleasure. He doesn't have to worry about whether or not she's enjoying it, no worries about satisfying her. Some of the girls who worked for her said "I must be doing something wrong, he just lays there" but the gist of it was that the men were just enjoying being taken care of sexually, without worrying about anything else.

Then you have the men who enjoy the taboo-ness of paying for sex. And the ones who want to try oral or anal but are afraid to ask their W or GF. And I'm sure the list goes on and on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 9:58am
I think that whatever the underlying reason, the most obvious is control. He is in 100% control of the situation, and that's the biggest attraction.

If you go to Askmen.com and just read, you can get a better idea of what is going on in the heads of different types of men. From what I can tell, some men are resentful that women control the when, why and how of sex. They want women who they ONLY want to have sex with to have sex with them. They don't want to have to wine, dine, date, call, meet your brother, or any of that. All they want is to get laid. Some will go through hoops without ever knowing if it'll all pay off in the end---whether they'll get laid or not.

One man said that men want prostituion legalized(and claimed this is primary reason women are against prostitution overall), so that it will create competition for the average woman. How the average woman would lose their sexual power if prostitution were legalized. Interesting concept. Makes you wonder if porn and strip clubs serve the same purpose.

It seems that there are men who just want to have sex, and prostitutes allow them to do that while remaining 100% in control of the when, why and how.






Edited 11/7/2004 10:41 am ET ET by electricianwannabe

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 10:20am
"Unless she's a street walker, she's more than likely disease free....."

She is in a profession where the occupational hazard is contracting an STD. Think about this. Even if she's tested regularly, there are incubation periods for each disease. She is NOT protected from exposure by the John. If she has sex with 100 men in a week, her potential for exposure is high, and she can transfer an STD until she is diagnosed. Take her profession out of it. If you met a man who had sex with 100's of people before you, and 100's while simultaneously the two of you were having sex, would you feel safe if they were tested two weeks ago?

Yes, they are definitely safer than a streetwalker, but I wouldn't go as far as saying "more than likely disease free."





Edited 11/7/2004 10:43 am ET ET by electricianwannabe

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 12:01pm
"They could just go into a bar and get the same thing for no money?"

First I'd say in my experience as a man this doesn't accurately reflect the experience of the majority of men. If it were that easy to find willing female participants professionals would likely disappear due for lack of demand.

Its probably more true for woman but much more rare for most men. There was interesting experiment done on a collage campus where the had first an attractive woman basically come on to men she met and ask first if they would willing to go out and then if they would be willing to come home with her for sex. They then repeated the experiment using an attractive man. Asking women the same things. Around 70 percent of men would agree to sex after only a few minutes. Think virtually none of the women would.

For most men the probability of successfully being able to walk into bar and find a receptive sex partner is quite low.

IF a man is seeking sex, provided the service being sought is with in the range of services she offers and he has the means to pay for it he is guaranteed he will receive the service he is seeking. The probability of finding willing female partner in an average bar encounter is much lower.

There are lost of reasons why some would go to professional:

-Variety, a desire for a different partner, size, shape, race, hair colour

-Frequency of sex, a HL person might turn to a professional to fill where a LL partner is unwilling or unable to

-Seeking a specific kind of sex their own partner will not provide. That could be oral sex, anal sex, role-play, fantasy, and domination. Many sex workers quote this as a reason their attached clients come

-To fills the need for sex when they are between relationships

There are as many reasons as there are people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 5:50pm
>>One man said that men want prostituion legalized(and claimed this is primary reason women are against prostitution overall), so that it will create competition for the average woman. How the average woman would lose their sexual power if prostitution were legalized. Interesting concept.<<

I find it interesting that a man could assume that women would feel competition from a prostitute. Sure, an insecure woman may feel pressure...but the average, confident woman in a good relationship would fear nothing from legalised prostitution. I consider the sex that DH and I have (as part of a loving relationship) to be far superior to anything that a prostitute could offer. And I *know* that my DH would never visit a prostitute - legal or not. I'd love to know more about this man's relationship attitudes.

>>Makes you wonder if porn and strip clubs serve the same purpose<<

No way!!! again....how could simply viewing another woman even begin to compete with what I can give him? Such strange men on askmen.com LOL

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace

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