sluts - what's the attraction????
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sluts - what's the attraction????
| Sat, 11-06-2004 - 10:49am |
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Edited 8/26/2008 6:08 pm ET by inacolada
Edited 8/26/2008 6:08 pm ET by inacolada
| Sat, 11-06-2004 - 10:49am |
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lol My thoughts exactly.
I was only relating it to what I read recently. I can't tell you much more because only read a few threads(I do that when this board is slow). However, I did find that an interesting concept, whether or not I agreed with it, and thought it was applicable to the topic at hand.
Yes, they are a funny lot over there.
If you're interested in reading the thread yourself, it's called
"Ladies: Virgin vs. Purveyor of Hookers-Which Is Worse?"
Edited 8/26/2008 6:10 pm ET by inacolada
But then there are the men who are in relationships where the wife just "doesnt get it" sexually.For whatever reason, the wife has hangups, or she and her man dont communicate well sexually. Sex may not be an important component of their relationship. That type of man COULD be a "type" that sees a hooker.
Ive never even been tempted to see a hooker, but I know plenty of men who have seen them.
Why? Mainly for oral sex. They never get that at home.
To the O.P...A woman could get laid any night of the week if she really wanted to... Not so for most men. So Im guessing the attraction of the "slut" is that its immediate gradification.Most hookers could care less if the man is good looking or not. they dont care if he is short, or ugly, or not so well endowed. They only care if he has a big........wallet...lol
Are you saying that it's acceptable to cheat because it's justifiable?
I don't know-I would compare it to me patronizing a restaurant, and the owners gave me the royal treatment, but for one problem-they were racist against my race.
As to justifiable. That's really a subjective value judgment kind of question. I would look at from this angle though:
Ideally the partners could communicate and there world be a general willingness to try and make an effort to meet each others needs. In that case the need could be met and the desire to look elsewhere would not exist.
If someone found themselves in the situation described. Needs not being met and a general unwillingness on the part of the partner in question to seek some way to address the situation. What are the other partners options? In some cases the desire is minor and can easily be ignored in favor of other things the relationship offers, that a no brainer. In others the desire is a real driving need for the partner in question, what do they do?
Again remember its generally much easier for a women to find a willing partner out side the relationship to fulfill some particular sexual desire than for the male.
So you discuss it and the partner is unable or unwilling to try and meet the particular need. What are the options:
1) Stay in the relationship and subjugate your own needs. (In my experience a higher percentage of woman would choose this. But its also means you may find yourself in relationship with a someone who unsatisfied and genuinely unhappy. Is this the most desirable option?)
2) Stay in the relationship but visit a professional to satisfy the unmet needs.
(Yes this by most definitions cheating, unlike an affair there is no emotional involvement or risk of forming a new emotional attachment outside of the primary relationship.)
2) Stay in the relationship but have an affair to satisfy the unmet needs.
( Again this is by most definitions cheating, some would find more objectionable because it involves not just sexual but also emotional infidelity, and caries a much higher risk that the person having the affair might from a new emotional attachment and choose to leave the current relationship to pursue one with the affair partner.)
3) Say you don’t believe in cheating under any circumstances but can't continue in the current situation and so you choose to leave the relationship to find someone who is more compatible.
(Its no longer cheating, is it a better solution for the person being left, that's a harder question to answer. It depends largely on the person and the situation.)
Justifiable is hard question sometime its case of which is the lesser of multiple evils.
What would you chose if you were in that situation?
You omitted another possibility...being honest with the spouse and asking for an open marriage. But then again, if they KNEW that you were having sex with another person or prostitute, then that would most likely destroy whatever is that you're hanging on for. There are plenty of people who for whatever reason will remain married and work out an arrangement so that the other can get a blowjob or whatever, but that's THEIR CHOICE. Just as it's the partner's who is not getting the blowjob's choice to leave or stay or cheat. I can't compare someone who won't meet your sexual, needs to cheating, emotional or not.
One person's desire, is another person's need. You decide where that line is drawn and you decide what you can and can't live without. And when you decide, you tell your SO, so that they can decide with you, how to solve it or not solve it. It's cheating, and I don't feel that it's justifiable. If that were the case, then if I felt as though I NEEDED more money in my life to be happy, I can go out and hook. The end justifies the means, so to speak.
1) To my mind, there's a difference between a prostitute and a "slut". A prostitute has sex for money. She's a professional. A "slut" has sex for personal reasons, but is overly promiscuous.
2) Men (and women) have sex with prostitutes for the simple reason that sex is guaranteed, they can be a selfish/kinky/demanding/whatever as they want, and it boils the equation down to one simple deal.
3) Not everyone is able to or is comfortable with picking strangers up in bars.
Ultimately, you should remember that while most of us prefer sex in the context of a committed relationship, some people are completely content simply having sex. For them, asking why have sex with him/her is like asking why people eat ice cream
--
martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
_____________________________
"To devote to base or unworthy purposes; to give up to low or indiscriminate use; as, to prostitute talents; to prostitute official powers. --Milton."
Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.
Main Entry: pros·ti·tute
Pronunciation: 'präs-t&-"tüt, -"tyüt
Function: noun
: a person who engages in sexual activity indiscriminately esp. for money —compare PANDERER, PIMP
pros·ti·tute ( P ) Pronunciation Key (prst-tt, -tyt)
n.
One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.
One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose.
tr.v. pros·ti·tut·ed, pros·ti·tut·ing, pros·ti·tutes
To offer (oneself or another) for sexual hire.
To sell (oneself or one's talent, for example) for an unworthy purpose.
prostitute
\Pros"ti*tute\, n. 1. A woman giver to indiscriminate lewdness; a strumpet; a harlot.
2. A base hireling; a mercenary; one who offers himself to infamous employments for hire.
No hireling she, no prostitute to praise. --Pope.
___________________________________________
slut ( P ) Pronunciation Key (slt)
n.
A woman considered sexually promiscuous.
A woman prostitute.
A slovenly woman; a slattern.
sluttish adj.
sluttish·ly adv.
sluttish·ness n.
slutty adj.
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
slut
\Slut\, n. ttr a heavy, loglike fellow, slota to droop.] 1. An untidy woman; a slattern.
Sluts are good enough to make a sloven's porridge. --Old Proverb.
2. A servant girl; a drudge.
Our little girl Susan is a most admirable slut, and pleases us mightly, doing more service than both the others. --Pepys.
3. A female dog; a bitch.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.
slut
n 1: a dirty untidy woman 2: a woman adulterer
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whore ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hôr, hr)
n.
A prostitute.
A person considered sexually promiscuous.
A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
intr.v. whored, whor·ing, whores
To associate or have sexual relations with prostitutes or a prostitute.
To accept payment in exchange for sexual relations.
To compromise one's principles for personal gain.
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