small penis

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2006
small penis
6
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 4:35pm
Hello, thank god you guys are here to help, I start dating a wonderfull guy and
he is attentive and nice and everything i am looking for .PROBLEM, he has small
penis and we both are not expert in sex at all, he is virgin in this department, which is ok with me, we can learn and expriment with eachother, but i can not tell him that is he
is small and he does not even reach me inside and maybe we should consider alternative. Although he tries to please me with oral and hand job but i feel bad for him, i know it bothers him but he does not say anything, and at the same time , he is small but thick, so it hurts me alot with some positions that he is comfortable and not onlye it does not give me any pleasure but also it hurts me badly, is that ok to let him do his thing while i am hurt , because i am thight and as he says my vagina push him out. well i think i covered everything, unexprinsed guy and girl over 30, who like eachother very much and want to enjoy eachother as well. Help me to keep a nice guy around and also make
sure he feels good. thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: surento
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 4:57pm

Since neither of you has had any experience, then you can both learn together. If you're new to these boards, then you probably don't know that for most women, penis size isn't very important, because most women do not have orgasms from intercourse. Your vagina has very little feeling inside, and the pain you feel is at the opening, not inside of you. The pain is because you're nervous, and the muscles there are tight. Women need foreplay to be able to relax those muscles. Most women get a lot of pleasure from foreplay, because a woman's true sexual organ is their clitoris, not their vagina. If he gives you lots of foreplay, you will relax, and get a lot of pleasure. Then when it's time for intercourse, use some lubrication, and go slowly. If it still hurts, then NO, do not let him continue. If he cares for you, he won't enjoy what he's feeling if he knows you're in pain. Sex should be a pleasure for both of you, not just him. He wants you to be happy, so you can explain to him HOW to make you happy. If his penis hurts you, then it's not so small, and you already know not to tell him that it is. A penis doesn't have to be big to give pleasure. He has to know how to use it, and also use his hands and tongue to give you pleasure.

If he has no experience, then he probably doesn't know anything about a woman's body, and how to give a woman pleasure. You can teach him. Show him your clitoris, and show him how to stimulate it with his fingers or orally. He doesn't have to feel bad because he can give you a lot of pleasure this way.

You can learn more about your body at www.the-clitoris.com and you can show it to him, too, and you can learn together. Even more experienced men don't always understand a woman's body, and every woman is different, too. So, both of your can learn together how to make it good, how to avoid the pain, and have pleasure together. Be patient, it takes time for a new couple to learn about each other, and how to give each other pleasure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2006
In reply to: surento
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 4:00pm

Hello,
I just wanted to know one thing , he does a lot of foreplay but i am too Conscious in all time, is there any way i could relax , it seems that i am not relaxing enough to enjoy him, he even told me when he is playing with me with his hand, my vagina pushes him out and that happens when he enters me as well, how can i relax , i tried Wine, but being a conscious person, i pay attention how much i drink, so can not relax there either. is there any medication to calm my nervs and put me at ease??

thanks for your help

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: surento
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 11:42pm

You just have to learn to relax yourself. Instead of "playing with" your vagina, have him stimulate your clitoris, which will help you to be "in the mood" without worrying.

Read the website that I gave you, that will help you to understand what you have to do. Make sure you have privacy, and lots of time, and make sure you use birth control, so you're not worried about getting pregnant.

Then just try to remember that what you're doing is supposed to be pleasure, for both of you. You can be busy trying to stimulate him too, to get your mind off yourself. It takes time to learn how to allow yourself to enjoy it. Be patient.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2006
In reply to: surento
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:25pm
Maybe try and get to know each other a little better and put off having sex for awhile..maybe you will get more comfortable after awhile. You can also try doing things like keeping the lights off or doing it under the covers as a start, if you feel self conscious. If that relaxes you then you can eventually turn the lights on or be more open with it. Best of luck, you sound like a very sweet couple :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
In reply to: surento
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 8:57pm


Keep hold of your wonderful man and do not let him go, due to his penis size, If he treats you like you should be treated and loves you as you do him, you will be able to work around the size. To be willing to work TOGETHER and experiment what you BOTH can do about this is a major step, and will bring you closer together.
Unfortunetly many women on these boards are directed too the size of a mans penis, Constantly you hear "Size does Matter, or "Bigger is better" but every individual is differant (Women or Men). If eveyone was created equal it would be a boring world, women unhappy with their breast run and have implants, for men it's not that easy yes agmentation to the penis can occur but with some side effects....anyway enough with the babbaling and back to the other question
Your Wonderful man, will most likely not mention how his size effects him, beleive me he won't and it maybe good advise for you not to directly say anything that will lower his self estime further but try to say things to lift it, become more vocal let him know it feels good having him inside you, you mentioned experimenting try differant positions, positions sometimes make a great deal of differance in reference to penetration you may also find a position you enjoy which may also assit in your hurting and your tightness.
I am not sure how small the quoted "small penis" actually is in length but by what you are saying the girth (wideness) must be extremly wide to afflect pain.
As for hurting, the vagina will open to except a penis no matter what size, if a baby can come out a penis will go in, I think if you relax get will lubricated you will enjoy sex.
Unexperianced in sex or a virgin in this department, is a great time to experience it together

Good luck

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: surento
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 11:54am

Experiment, experiment,experiment. That's what we all have to do to make sure that we can please one another. Don't give up simply because you don't have it right...yet. You will get there with familiarity and time. The most important thing is your mutual desires to please.

Give one another more time to get comfortable and more confident with sex. Do some research together, find ways to work around his size. Many couples find themselves dealing with size disparities....very successfully.