so ashamed i could cry

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
so ashamed i could cry
5
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 9:54pm
hello

This isn't really a sex thing since i havent had it yet but then it is. My SO and I were overheard twice while messing around... i was moaning... and we werent having sex... i was getting all the pleasure... we thought we were alone and twice we found out we werent.... both times by his family ....that was embarassing enough..lol.. that doesn't bug me... or it didnt until my SO told me today that his brother said "isn't she pregnant?".. my SO and i are looking forward to having sex or preferable making love when the right time and place arrived but its not a big rush.. .and now i cant even get turned on... in feel like trash knowing his family thinks we're sleeping together... and honestly if we were it wouldnt bug me... but we aren't and i all ready have a bad name... we havent been physical other than small kisses since last week and i normaly want to be physical by now and i have no desire... everybody knows im physically attracted to him and im sure that we will be getting engaged soon.. we both decided we're ready.. the when is obviously up to him.. anyways......i dont know if im just feeling guilty for ruining my own image or could it be something else... a side note... i can feel that i have expanded when he puts his fingers inside of me im not as tight as i used to be and so the last few times have not been as pleasurable... but still great... wouldn't give that up for the world ;) but could it be that my body is reacting this way because of that???... please help... any suggestions... (ps i am ready for sex and have been for awhile.. just hasn't been a right place or time) any reassurances... please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 11:31pm
You can't undo what's been done. There's no point in being ashamed.....just hold your head up high, and let them think what they want. Also, you ARE having sex, you just haven't had intercourse yet. It's ALL sex, from kissing to whatever.

I'm not quite sure what you're asking or thinking about your vaginal size. Your vagina doesn't "expand" except when you're in the midst of sex. You don't get "bigger" because he's manually stimulated you. What is happening is that you're relaxing more. Your vagina consists of muscles, and those muscles are always tightly closed until you're sexually aroused. In the beginning, you might be aroused, but you're still nervous and uptight, so your muscles can't completely relax. When you get more comfortable with your partner, and what you're doing, you relax MORE and also lubricate better.

When it comes to "pleasure", your vagina isn't the main source of pleasure.....your clitoris is. Have him concentrate more on that. When you progress to intercourse, even then, most women need clitoral stimulation at the same time to have maximum pleasure.

From now on, find a more private place to take your pleasure, so you don't have to worry about anyone eavesdropping.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:27am

There is no reason for you to feel like trash.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 2:00pm
gee thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 2:37pm
Dont sweat it. Just be glad you're BF likes doing things for you and can make you moan.

My wife doesn't like having sex at her parents' house in another part of the house as a married couple! I'd rather have your problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 2:55pm
Yannow, I wouldn't worry about it a bit. The whole sex thing (if pursued with zeal and righteousness!) is bound to have some embarrassing times for sure. You're always louder than you think -- my roommates in colleage and later my landlady downstairs would just give me that knowing look. The landlady once slipped a note under my door and was like, "uhhh, I hear -everything-" and it was so embarrassing. But only for about a week ... then I got really horny again ;-) God knows there are many more): blatant cum stains on my then-g/f's mother's priceless navy blue antique sofa, being walked in on in a mid-blowjob-orgasm by another g/f's little sister, having that same g/f report for breakfast with some guests wearing a bathrobe but with her, uhhh, crotch noticeably dripping my goods onto the floor, bonking the headboard of the bed loudly in my parents' house at night and feeling so good about it that we just ignored it and proceeded proceedin', and then being totally, utterly embarrassed afterwards, etc. etc. It's the human condition, kinda ...