something i've NEVER been asked to do...
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 07-31-2007 - 10:24am |
I've been going out with my boyfriend for only about a month and a couple weeks. We have been having sex for a few weeks and 2 weeks ago he asked me to, how you say... "toss his salad"... this makes me VERY uncomfortable, like I have a fear of doing it. He's telling me I better get over that fear. Some ex girlfriend did it to him and he likes it A LOT. I just don't think I can do it, I just wanted to know how many people do that. Is it a common thing? I mean I have honestly NEVER been asked to do that. Also anal sex, I just can't do that either. He put his fingers in there, but it felt like I was going to have to go to the bathroom...yeah...anyway... I'm starting to think I can't handle him sexually...we have sex a lot, but he says he needs more sex and also for me to get over my fear of licking his @$$hole. Yuck its was even hard for me to type that. I need advice big time.
Thank you.

Pages
ROFL! That is the best line I've heard in a long time!
I heard about the saran wrap idea. I'm not comfortable with it. He has since apologized for what he said, how he said it and everything. He is going to respect my decision and not be so demanding. I did a lot of research on rimming and am still very uncomfortable with the idea...maybe one day I'll be curious or I'll want to please someone so bad that I'll want to do that for them...who knows! But its not happening anytime soon!
Thanks everyone for your replies!!
Sounds like a deal breaker to me.
Whats good for the goose is good for the gander!!!
Of course you could get out a garden hose and a bucket of soap, a brush and some alcohol (I don't mean the kind you drink) and tell him if I have to do it guess what I'm going clean out first!!!!! Tell him to bend over you grab a good handfull of whats handy and start cleaning and don't let go till you think its clean enough. I don't like ultimatums and bet he doesn't either
LMAO
Good luck
Any man (or woman for that matter) that "orders" you and "threatens" you is a controling, narcissistic, abusive person.
It just amazes me how people cannot see how pervasive these "characteristics" will be throughout their whole relationship.
Do you not think that this person will be controlling out of the bedroom as well? Your life will be a living hell. You will become his little puppet with no "thoughts" or care about your own well being. He will tear you down until you are nothing but a mere semblemence of a human. Preditors like this need hosts to feed off of to make themselves feel "superior" to you. YOU will never be important to him. You will be forever trying to "please" him, when there is no pleasing him, period.
This has nothing to do with sexual incompatibility, and everything to do with personality incompatibility.
Nobody owns you. You own yourself. You have to love and respect yourself, before anyone else will. And anyone who asks you to compromise that love and respect, DOES NOT LOVE YOU...they are just USING you.
Get out now. Take this as a life lesson. Your gut was telling you something, you just had to connect the dots. It's great that you had this board to "talk to." Spread the word of your "wisdom." to all of the people you know. Recognizing abuse early in the game, is the only way to "stop the madness." Stop enabling him to treat you like dirt. You are better than that. Only associate with people who "respect" you as you respect yourself. Anyone who demands that you do anything, does not respect you--end of story.
He's bullying you to do something or else he's going to "leave" you. Good riddance! He did you a favor, actually. He is so arrogant that he thinks he's "entitled" to boss you around. Many times they are as sweet as honey outside of the bedroom, but then their true ugly heads rear themselves during sex. Take heed. Stop feeding his need to control, by taking control of your own life.
Tell him that you recently came upon a discusting worm inhabiting a head of lettuce that it's forced you to become a carnivore. ;-)
I hear everything you are saying! I broke up with him - its a hilarious story about how it was done...
we had been talking for about an hour and a half about why I was upset and how I felt he disrespected me and all that good stuff, we decided to go grab some food. We pulled in and there was a button - from a pair of pants - I picked it up and he started saying in a very stern hostile tone "Thats your button!" I was like - I dont think it is...maybe its yours...he went off - stressing over this button TELLING me "Its YOUR button!!" I was like I don't think its mine He said, its your button because Im telling you its your button and there are no Ifs' Ands or Buts about it. and i mean he was almost yelling this at me. I put the button down and said take me home. On the way I said "I dont think I want this anymore" He goes you take that button and when you find what it goes to I hope you feel bad! (in an angry intense tone) and then almost back to my place he said "I hope you remember this night". So we broke up. He calls me not even 20 minutes later apologizing. saying sorry i guess your right and im wrong im sorry. I was just so astonished that he got this crazy stressed out over a button. He ended up calling me a piece of $hit because I broke it off with him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME MEN....excuse me I mean BOYS :)!??!
Good thing came out of this...I went out with the girls and ended up seeing my very first boyfriend and now we are talking... funny how things work out, huh?
P.S. I ended up finding what the button goes to, but who cares whos button it was - the point folks is that he flipped out for no reason - he was a loose cannon and no one should stay with a person like that - I know the signs to look for now!
Good for you, a person like that will make your life a living hell.
--WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME MEN....excuse me I mean BOYS--
There ya go. You deserve a man, not a child. Good for you. :-)
- - - - - - - - - -
If you aren't comfortable with it don't do it.That's the bottom line. My BF right now has always been completely clear that we don't do anything I don't want to do or am not comfortable with.
For him to even tell you to get over it and that it's something you MUST do is very disrespectful. Was he that blunt about it? Last night I was talking to one of my male friends about our sex lives. I mentionned how my BF made a joke the night before about giving me a facial. That is something I just won't go for. I don't like it. I laughed at him and said like hell you will. You have been watching too much porn. My friend said oh he wasn't making a joke of it he was testing the waters to see if it's something he can do next time. He just brought it up in a way so as to take the pressure off you and him with the subject.
The bottom line is if you aren't comfortable don't do it. That is something HE will have to get over and accept.
Welcome to the board kheta13. Thanks for joining in.
I hope you'll visit August Roll Call, and let us get to know you a little better.
Pages