Sometimes they take long

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Sometimes they take long
7
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 9:28pm
I was curious if anyone had any advice on how to better this situation or get it done with quicker. Sometimes when I'm fooling around with a new guy he takes forever to hit his peak. I've never had any problems with guys before this, but recently I've been running in to this. Of course, by the time i'm working on him whether oral or hand, i've already came. Well I'll be into him for a while, but sometimes it just takes too long and i get tired and bored...so what do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 9:42pm
Once you practice more, you will know what will turn him on better. But while you are doing oral or HJ, have him touch or pleasure YOU at the same time. Or talk to you. One thing to do is to hold off having your O until he has his. You can try different things but unless you stay with one guy for several months, you will not learn all his hot spots or what he loves. Give it time. My H takes 15 minutes to 1/2 hr to get off from a HJ (his favorite thing)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 2:27am
I'm a guy and I often have problems with taking too long to come. My ex GF and I talked about it after we broke up. At the time we were still sleeping together. It hadn't really come up before, but she said that sometimes she just wished I'd hurry up. That kinda harshed my mellow. ALthough, she also took a long time. We used to have an hour of foreplay on most occasions. We both liked that a lot. I think our styles matched pretty well but not perfectly. Anyway, I digress... Even while masturbating I often take a while. I guess I just need a lot of stimulation. Probably mostly an inate thing. I've heard that cutting back on masterbation can help because men who have low sensitivity sometimes masturbate in a rough and rapid manner that can worsen the problem. I read that in a medical journal but the article was based on anecdotal evidense from the author and other therapists. THere havn't been any studies done on that specifically that I am aware of. I'd like to test it out myself but I havn't had a partner since the ex and she's not available right now. ANyway, you'll have to enlist his cooperation and may not be able to change it as much as you want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 1:40pm
Well, if you want to get it over with quickly, you will have to bring him to the brink with oral or your hand first, then slide in for the intercourse. Just curious, why you want it over with quickly though? Aren't you enjoying it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 4:38pm
Love the name ... anyhow, yeah I always seem to take a lot longer, and get aroused more slowly, the first time with a new lover. It's just not as settled and relaxed, yannow? Anyhow, I certainly wouldn't fret about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 6:20pm
it's not that i wanna rush things, but first of all both guys and girls know how it is after you cum you're exhauted and want to relax, but since usually i'm first i don't mind keeping it going...especially during intercourse, but during oral and HJ, it gets really tiring, and it's enjoyable at first....but if he's taking too long i tend to just lose the stamina and interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 6:32pm
Well, like I said then - try bringing him to the brink when performing oral. Get on top right afterwards and do your thing. A visual of you on top should further his excitement. Just really go for it. Don't lay there and let him do all the work - he might just keeping pumping and pumping. Surprise him with some new moves! Take the iniative, wind him up where he can't take it any more - orally and manually. Play around with his penis against your area and slap it or bounce it against around your vaginal area and backside a little, place it between your breasts - anything to turn him on more. If you vary your positions and actions - it should bring him to the brink.

And there's always dirty talk you can incorporate. He might enjoy some!

good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
Sat, 07-31-2004 - 2:01pm
After two years of learning each others' bodies, my wife and I seems to be able to make the other orgasm a lot more easily. Sparing the usual disclaimer of, "it's different for different people", here's how she makes me cum, almost like clockwork.

She's like you in that, after her orgasm, she wants to relax. Her first "tool" is dirty talk. The dirtier and raunchier, the better. Sometimes, when that doesn't work, she gets on top, shoves me deep inside until I've hit bottom and works it deep, hard and fast.

I have something of an oral fixation, she has much less desire for kissing, licking and foreplay in general. Oddly, she loves sucking my hard-on, but as far as kissing, she isn't into it. This brings me to her secret weapon. Her last, and best tool (which she uses sparingly because its worked 100% of the time thus far) is a lot of sloppy tongue on tongue action as we're embraced tightly, going ferociously hard, almost screaming into each others mouths. Something about the thought of two people desperately joining in everyway imaginable trying to merge into one being, not knowing where one ends and the other one starts, culminating in untempered, almost violent, passion gets me off.