Sore Sex! =(
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| Sat, 02-24-2007 - 10:34am |
Hello Everyone!!
I have a slight problem which I'm sure many who come to these forums ofen will be used to hearing.
I have wonderful sex with my bf of 2 and a half years which we enjoy a lot and while he relaxes me and gets me wet enough etc during foreplay my vagina is still very tight and his penis is quite big and thick. This causes the area of skin just below where he enters me (not sure of the exact name, sorry) to stretch a lot and it sometimes becomes cut and very sore when he penetrates me and every time he moves in and out.
It gets worse and often causes me to bleed and makes the sex painful and not as nice as it would be without the pain.
It ruins sex for both me and him, causing me to perhaps not cum as many times as I would without the pain and it makes him not wish to continue because he can tell that it is hurting me and causing me discomfort.
It can make sex impossible or uncomfortable for 2-3 days afterwards, unabling us to have sex whenever we want free of pain.
It also makes me feel terrible because I can't provide him with wonderful sex without it being obvious that it's hurting me or not as pleasurable for me. I know he is ok and doesn't want me to be hurt..... but I am sure as you will all understand - I just want to be able to have sex with him whenever we want without me having to check how sore I am or having to stop half way through because of the pain.
Would lube help this situation? I have never tried it before.
Does anyone have any ideas to help me have unpainful liberated sex?
Thank you for your time. =)
-x-Robyn-x- xoxoxoxoxox

Yes, lubrication would be the logical solution! Many times people think they're "wet", and they might be, but not wet enough. That's why sexual lubricants are sold. For problems like yours. Particularly when there's been problems right along, your nervousness about the upcoming pain is probably causing you not to be well lubricated.
If that doesn't help, the next probable cause would be not enough foreplay, which helps your PC muscle to relax, as well as producing lubrication. If the PC muscle isn't relaxed, it's not going to allow entry. You say he gives you "foreplay", but what exactly is he doing? Is he stimulating your clitoris? THAT is what foreplay is about. Your clitoris is your true sexual organ (after your brain) and it's comparable to his penis. If that's not being stimulated enough, or correctly, you're not fully aroused, and it's going to cause pain.
Both of you should check out www.the-clitoris.com There's a lot of good info there about women's sexual response, and sadly, many men (and women) don't know enough about it.
If you try more foreplay, AND lubrication, and there's still a problem, then it's time to see your gynecologist, and find out what's going on. Pain during intercourse is NOT normal, and it shouldn't be happening. If you can't fix it, then you need a doctor to find out why.
I agree with everyone else LUBE LUBE LUBE... you should always have some on hand! And clitoris stimulation is very important. They also sell flavoured Lube so your man can orally stimulate you too.
I would also try WOT because you will then be in control of how fast, deep, things are going along. If it hurts, stop, pull up and lube some more. Intercourse should never hurt.
Tearing is sometimes normal but not normally with regular ol' sex and certainly not every time.
Let us know what your results are after trying more lube!
Katie
Firstly I would like to thank EVERYONE for your replies, I am very grateful for them because as you all know, sex is such a great and liberating thing and it's nice to enjoy it!!!
Yes, I think lube is DEFINITLY in need, I've picked up bottles of it so many times but have yet to buy some! I'll have to put it at the top of my shopping list!
To Sakura, thank you - yes he stimulates my clit a lot and often gives a lot of great oral sex and concentrates a lot on my clit with his tongue and fingers, both with oral sex and fingering etc.
I did WOT the other night but it didn't help.... our sex ends up sometimes with us doing foreplay to get me wet and then me lowering myself ontop of him, but while 2 seconds before my vagina would have been nicely wet and relaxed, with 10 seconds it will have reverted to dry and like a clam!!!!!!!!! I have no idea why!
I WILL however try lube and I will check out the clitoris website with my partner.
Thank you so much - I will reply with a report here about how the lube goes!!
PS: Thank you for the idea of doggy style, I've tried it a few times but I have to say, it doesnt do much for ME! While my partner loves it, it doesnt tough my clit at all! Is the best thing to touch your own clit while doing that position? Sometimes I just don't find touching my clit myself during sex is as good, even when my partner touches it whilst doing that style I don't think I have ever orgasmed in that position!! :-s
"PS: Thank you for the idea of doggy style, I've tried it a few times but I have to say, it doesnt do much for ME! While my partner loves it, it doesnt tough my clit at all! Is the best thing to touch your own clit while doing that position? Sometimes I just don't find touching my clit myself during sex is as good, even when my partner touches it whilst doing that style I don't think I have ever orgasmed in that position!! :-s"
Try being on the edge of the bed with pillows beneath your torso and lay your shoulders flat on the bed. Have him stand on the floor behind you. His balls should be able to come into contact with your clitoris. If you need more stimulation you can use his fingers, your fingers or a vibe. This position seems to be the easiest for entry, and it's easy for him to add lube as needed. (It didn't used to be one of my favorite positions, but OMG, when you do orgasm in this position, it will be **very nice**.)