Soreness & the Pistol

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2013
Soreness & the Pistol
2
Sat, 04-20-2013 - 8:56pm

Pleasuring the woman I'm seeing is the most important thing for me.  If I sense she's not enjoying herself during sex, its difficult to stay motivated.

During foreplay she was struggling to get wet, at first she didn't want me to go down on her, but after realizing she needed some help, she let me. I went down on her until she told me she wanted me inside her.  After several minutes of penetration she told me that she was getting sore.  Not wanting to hurt her, I stopped.

After I massaged stomach area and eventually moved my hand over her vagina so she could feel the warmth of my hand.

The question:  I asked her if she had gotten close to orgasming and she mentioned that pentration whether by my penis or by fingering was too dependent on friction and not enough by the grinding of hips.  I haven't had trouble with other women in the past, varying speed or force, but how can I improve so I can still stimulate her without friction?  What moves can I do to more subletly pleasure or comfort her, while improving the sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2012
Wed, 05-01-2013 - 4:03pm

Have you tried any lube to help with the soreness? If she's not getting wet enough, penetration would make her sore. My other suggestion would be to have her on top. That way she can get the grinding motion, and can also control the speed. From the way she moves, you can learn what really turns her on. It sounds like she puts pressure on herself during sex, so try to make her feel more confident and at ease. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 05-06-2013 - 12:24am

If giving a woman pleasure is your first thought, then you need to ask the woman what gives her pleasure!  It is different for every woman.  What worked for the last woman might completely turn this woman off!  Also, don't ask her about her orgasms.  That's just creating pressure for her.  Some women don't have them at all.  I never had one until I was in my mid forties, but that didn't stop me from having pleasure!  Ask HER what works for her.  As someone else suggested, have her on top and she can do whatever she likes to do.  For many women, it takes both clitoral stimulation and "g" spot stimulation to have orgasms or to ejaculate.  If she's not getting wet enough, then you need to use a sexual lubricant such as KY or Astroglide.  If she's having orgasms or not, if she's having pleasure, you'll know.  You don't have to ask.