Spanking

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
Spanking
4
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 10:51am

Can a guy like spanking and not be into S & M?

A guy I've been flirting with in IM started talking to me about dating and I liked the idea until he started talking about spanking and it has sort of frightened me. Am I being silly?

I've met this guy in person, but not for dating before. He lives kind of far away, so we haven't dated yet. We have a lot of the same interests, our jobs are similar, we agree on a lot of things. So I kind of liked the idea of meeting and dating and... who knows?

Then he starts talking about sex and he mentions spanking. I've never been in a relationship that involved spanking. I don't object to it in itself, but I don't want to get into a big S & M scene. I have told him this and he said I was being silly, that he just likes to swat behinds. Should I believe him or is he just trying to trick me into starting something I don't want to start?

I guess I'm very forward about some things and really a prude about others and S & M is one of the things I am prudish about. So is spanking inevitably the beginning of S & M?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
In reply to: oldmame
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 12:24pm
I find spanking, light bondage, etc. quite fun and I'm not really turned on by hardcore S&M and neither is my partner. It's definitely possible to enjoy such activities without it turning into anything more intense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: oldmame
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 3:21pm

There is "spanking" and there is "spanking". I've had guys "swat" once or twice during their climax, and never anything more.

You'll never know what he's talking about until you try. No one can be "tricked" into anything......because the minute it goes beyond YOUR limits, you tell him to stop, and you don't go there again. Your body, your rules. If he doesn't like it, he knows where the door is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
In reply to: oldmame
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 4:59pm
Thanks. I'm not sure that I want to try it (I guess I'd like to know the guy better first) but I'm glad to know it isn't just the first step to being abused. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
In reply to: oldmame
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 5:01pm
Yeah, I want to know more about what he has in mind before we get together. (Here is one case where I have no problem talking about it, because he seems comfortable talking about it.)