speaking of busty.......talk about bras

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
speaking of busty.......talk about bras
39
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 7:50pm
I'm only a B cup, and gravity is yet to take it's toll - so I don't need a bra. It also so happens that I find them extremely uncomfortable, so I only wear one if my nips are likely to show or the dress really needs some defining shape underneath.

However, I've also read posts where going braless is deemed to be overly sexual. Why is this? Comfort is the only thing in my mind when not bothering with a bra. If anything, I find that a bra - and the defining shape it gives - is way more sexy than slobbing around in no bra.

Thoughts anyone?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 12:38pm
What I can't understand is why people are offended at all, by breastfeeding--it's natural, as natural as breathing. If you choose not to, so be it, but if you choose to, I don't see any reason to hide it or your breast.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 12:47pm

As a woman who did breast feed both of my kids, I never felt ashamed to breast feed wherever I was.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 12:52pm
I did reveal in one of my posts that I breastfed in the 80's when public breastfeeding was just coming up. And in my naivete, I lifted up my shirt and fed my baby in public at the mall, only to be greeted with looks of disgust and some not very nice things thrown at me. I later covered up, but had to stop going out all together as my baby aged and kept ripping off the blanket. Even covered up, the looks weren't favorable.

I guess you could say that a woman who exposes her breast while breastfeeding is making a statement--Here's what mine was..."I'm not being sexual, so please don't take it that way."

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:12pm

Who knows but there will always be circumstances and factors in people's backgrounds (abuse, negative conditioning, etc.) that can affect the way they view things.

But rather than take offense, why not just accept that SOME people can't separate the sexual connotation from breasts and think anything that has to do with private body parts, even a natural act, should be kept private? And IF you want to show your breasts in public, then accept that some may voice their opinion about it. Just goes with the territory.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:23pm
Yes, you're right, when a woman in her forties walking with her husband called me a slut, I had accepted that it was her right to call me that, and was made to feel that I was treading on HER territory.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 4:31pm
Ridiculous overreaction to breastfeeding, obviously, but yes, that can happen.

I've noticed the odd disapproving stare and the shaking of the head once or twice in my nursing years, even though nothing was visible at all, but it wasn't the norm. More often than not, I received nods and smiles.

But in the rare circumstance where no privacy available to me, then my baby's immediate needs came before the comfort of the general public.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 5:37pm

I remember seeing a woman once who covered with a small towel when feeding. Anther mother said to her "what is THAT for?" and the first mother replied "privacy".

Isn't it strange that being modest will raise eyebrows in other countries! Just goes to show our differences.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 5:59pm

I just thought I'd give you the flip-side of being in a country where breastfeeding is not only done openly and everywhere - but EXPECTED.

My own breastfeeding experience was less than successful. I had planned to be a 'feed anywhere' type mum, but DS (due to undiagnosed delays) couldn't breastfeed. Being a first time mum, I naturally blamed my flat nipples for the problem. So, we messed about with nipple-shields - not something I was keen to do in public. Not only that, but as soon as I bared my nipple, I'd get a gusher of milk squirt out. DS would also take an hour to feed. And when he was done, he'd projectile vomit over anything that happened to be near. Then he learned to get his little baby fingers under the nipple shield and peel it off me. Needless to say, I weaned him onto a bottle at about 5 weeks.

You know, I still have issues with the 'breastfeeding nazis' that we have here. The pressure for Aussies to breastfeed is so strong, that there's no leeway for those for whom it doesn't work. When I decided to wean him, I had gotten to the point where I HATED him every time he was hungry because of the terrible time I was having feeding him. But all the nurses said that I just had to perservere. I get so angry that a first time mum was allowed to get into that state of mind before saying that it was OK to bottlefeed. I now also suspect a bit of undiagnosed PND going on at the time.

Thankfully, DD (child #2) was able to latch onto the proverbial 'brick wall', so I actually mananged 3 months of pleasant feeding before she weaned herself.

Sorry to dump all this on you guys, but this topic scratched some old wounds. I'm still angry even 7 years after the fact.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:46pm
I wasn't referring to YOU specifically, just that many people do not notice nursing mothers simply because of the discreet factor. I know that I myself have not noticed a nursing mother at first look -and I KNOW what they look like because I was one!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:48pm
It isn't. But many people DO regard the breast as sexual and so I wasn't into flashing it for anyone to ogle, even when I was nursing. I wasn't going to sit with a bare breast totally exposed in the mall - it had nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with my comfort level. I was feeding my child, not trying to get attention.