speaking of busty.......talk about bras

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
speaking of busty.......talk about bras
39
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 7:50pm
I'm only a B cup, and gravity is yet to take it's toll - so I don't need a bra. It also so happens that I find them extremely uncomfortable, so I only wear one if my nips are likely to show or the dress really needs some defining shape underneath.

However, I've also read posts where going braless is deemed to be overly sexual. Why is this? Comfort is the only thing in my mind when not bothering with a bra. If anything, I find that a bra - and the defining shape it gives - is way more sexy than slobbing around in no bra.

Thoughts anyone?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:55pm
I think that the most important thing is that mom is comfortable and happy in doing what she's doing - bottle or breast. An unhappy, frustrated breastfeeding mother isn't getting much out of it and neither is the baby. I was born in the 60s -when EVERYone bottlefed and my generation came out just fine (most anyway...lol).

I think the biggest thing is to hold baby when being fed, no matter the source. To hold close, make eye contact, talk, bond. And you can do that with a bottle. The only thing that aggravates me is when too-young infants are left with a propped bottle (my pet peeve.) Nursing is a wonderful thing but it's not the only way and I too hate that pressure. Nursing is not always easy and there is too little support and education for those that try to do it (which may be a reason for the decline.) I'll always think bf is the best *food* source but it's certainly not the only way to feed a baby and those that can't or won't shouldn't be made to feel like they're a failure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 11:08pm
yep, I was bottlefed too.

Do you know what I liked best about weaning my son? Being able to let DH share that feeding/bonding experience. And letting him do the 11pm feed while I had a sleep LOL

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 11:38am
Yes, and that was my point to root of all evil. There will be varying levels of modesty in ANY country. And just because a woman has grown up seeing naked breasts doesn't mean that she will feel comfortable exposing hers.

BTW, I breastfed my 1st son for 9 mos. and my 2nd for 16 mos. and I certainly couldn't (or wouldn't have wanted to) have done that if I had had the same experience that root of all evil says she had. As I said, in my experience, most people were very supportive or didn't seem to notice at all.


Edited 10/20/2004 12:24 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 2:52pm

My dad was the most uncomfortable of anyone, lol. I think it had to do with the whole breast -as-a-sex-object thing, his little girl grown up, having had sex (obviously, with a baby) and that he was never exposed to nursing mothers or babies. At one point, my mother just looked at him and said "That's what their for, so get over it! You men are all the same!" and he shut up, lol.

My own mother thought nursing and the push to return to it more was great. She had her babies in a time when everyone said "Bottle is best" and there was no help whatsoever for breastfeeding. In fact, she wasn't even asked in the hospital which she wanted to do, it was just assumed that she would bottlefeed. But my MIL, who had her babies in the 50s and 60s (all 7 of them) nursed every single one for at least a year. She really flew in the face of tradition, so to speak, for the times. I admire her for that. And she was my biggest supporter during nursing.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 4:27pm

It was just the opposite in my family....my mother breastfed two of her three children and my MIL actually tried to talk me out of breastfeeding. She thought it was gross for some reason. Can you imagine? Well, needless to say, at THEIR home, I had to excuse myself to a bedroom to do "that" but her attitude didn't stop me.

My youngest had allergies, thanks to his dad, and that's why I nursed him for 16 mos and he has no sign of those allergies today. Breast milk, without question, is best if it's possible for the mother to nurse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 7:13pm
It was obviously her insecurity showing and had nothing to do with you. Take her little display for what it was - a lack of manners and an abundance of ignorance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 7:32pm

>>Since when is being an immodest breastfeeder a bad thing?<<

I don't think the issue is about whether or not a woman should breastfeed in public. The issue is about whether or not a woman should break the currently accepted social conventions for exposing a breast in public.

I'm all for breast-feeding. But I've grown up in a society that says that an exposed breast in public is slightly taboo, and that anyone that sees that breast should feel slightly uncomfortable. Unfortunately, breast feeding in public exposes breasts. I feel uncomfortable if I see it. Regardless of the logic of the social convention, that's how people feel about it.

Why should someone be allowed to breast feed in a restaurant and make the entire roomfull of people feel uncomfortable when she could be a bit more discrete go somewhere-else and breastfed? If she absolutely has to breast feed in a restaurant, couldn't she at the least, be as discrete as possible?

Being an immodest breastfeeder is a bad thing because it shows disregard for other peoples feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 7:57pm
It shows disregard for other feelings because it is regarded as offensive. I just don't understand why it's offensive or taboo. It's not impossible to undo all of that. It seems from the statistics that bf is on the rise, highest it's ever been. I still can't understand why I haven't seen any of these mothers nursing(even discreetly) out and about considering the increase. I hope that nobody hurt their feelings. I hope they come out, covered or not. I want THEM to feel comfortable too.




Edited 10/22/2004 7:59 pm ET ET by root_of_all_evil

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 2:25am
LOL, I hear you. With my first, she would balk at any nipple placed in her mouth. I tried every shape, type and color they had, but she refused. Not until almost six months would she take a bottle. DH, did sit with me many times though, whenever possible, and touch the baby, look at them and....bond as well.

Wow, I feel so bad that you had those meanies(Nazis) on your back. I believe in freedom of choice, and no one should badger you into breastfeeding. Many people not only can't, but choose not to, and that should be respected.

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