Speaking of orgasms

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Speaking of orgasms
8
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 11:28pm

A recent poster mentioned that she has not been able to have an orgasm with a partner, but can by herself. A response to her was from someone who said unfortunately most women do not have orgasms with their male partners.

Is this true? I orgasm every time during intercourse, and really fast. Usually it takes less than a minute for the first, real intense one, and I can usually have one or two more less intense ones after that. I really think my husband is happy about this, because when we first started making love, he told me I was "easy" (to be able to make orgasm - not in any derogatory context ). I think he had difficulty with his last girlfriend achieving orgasm.

Anyway, I am curious to know if I should count my blessings because I am "easy". Do most women have difficulty with this when they are with their partner?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 11:39pm

All women are different. Most women don't have orgasms from intercourse alone. Most women need clitoral stimulation.....and maybe you're getting that simply from your position. No matter what, if you have them, enjoy them. Most women eventually learn how to have them.....some sooner than others.

As for your husband's previous partners, it had nothing to do with him...if he was doing the right things, and they weren't having them, it was because they didn't know how. He's more than likely doing the same things with/for you, and you DO know how to allow them to happen.

Women don't control men's erections or ejaculations.....men don't control women's orgasms.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 5:09am
My DW also orgasms very easily. I guess ladies that orgasm easily are the exception rather than the rule.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 7:14am

If I were you, I would count my blessings ;-) Many women don't have orgasms at all, so you are way ahead of the crowd. I also have orgasms from intercourse, but your head does have to be in the right place. I think a lot of women that don't have orgasms don't know how to get their head in the right place.

I'm sure your DH is happy about your ability, as it makes the entire experience better for him as well. It can be very frustrating for a guy if he wants you to be satisfied and you're not. He is going to equate an orgasm with satisfaction -- even though that isn't always the case. My DH loves watching (or feeling) me have an orgasm. I think a lot of it does have to do with your partner. Let him know that it's easy to be "easy" with him ;-)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:08am
I have trouble achieving orgasm when i have intercourse with my DH. I would give almost anything to be able to orgasm like you say you can. I really enjoy the feeling but I only achieve it through fingering or playing with the clitoris. I've had maybe two or three orgasms in all during intercourse with my DH. That's with 3 years of making love to him. So like one a year with intercourse. I havelearned from the people here though that it's probably becuase of a mental block I put up when I am having intercourse. I think you're lucky.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 12:25pm
Definately count your blessings! I too easily O thru IC and always have, when there was adaquate foreplay prior to IC. I do think that it's largely mental but the techniques tho may vary, are important also. Women should feel free to demonstrate and/or express what they find pleasurable to their partners.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2005
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 3:36pm
My last gf used to orgasm so easily ... even without foreplay. It was great; we were very in love and it would relax her so much. The only thing was, she only did once per session, so if it came really early in the proceedings she would sometimes get a tiny bit bored if I was thrusting away for a long time. (If it hasn't been a couple of days or more since my last orgasm, it tends to take a long time.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 2:07am
I've never been able to have an orgasm with any of my boyfriends. I've read that it just comes at different times for people. Like someone could have one the first time they have sex, and someone else might not get one until she's 35, even though she's had numerous boyfriends. I'm a little bit jealous of you, because I'm 25 and still am waiting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 7:41am

Hello mochagirl12 and welcome to the board.

Are you able to have orgasms on your own when masturbating? Having an orgasm is a feeling that you first have to recognize, and also your head has to be in the right place. If you are thinking about it, it's not likely to happen. Learning to relax, enjoy the pleasure and recognize the onset of an orgasm will give you a greater chance of actually having an orgasm (with or without a partner).

A website you might want to visit is the-clitoris.com. It offers a lot of information about the female genitals and how they react to stimulation.



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