Spicing up the sex life!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Spicing up the sex life!
7
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 10:31am
My husband says we always have sex the same way. Always the same positions. So I need some advice on how to mix it up a bit. He is the only man I've ever been with so I am not very experienced. I always like missonary, I can always get off from that. It seems that when we do other positions, it doesn't do anything for me. I need help, I want to get my sex life back and make it exciting for my husband...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 11:24am

Sex should never get boring.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 11:40am

He's complaining about being bored? So, why doesn't HE do something different? This isn't about pleasing him, it's about pleasure for both of you. There are two of you in that bed, and why is it up to YOU to fix his boredom?

If neither of you has enough imagination to try some different positions, role playing, or what ever will make it less boring, then go rent or buy some soft porn, or even hard porn, and see what THEY do.....and imitate them.

If he's complaining, then chances are he has something in mind, too....but he's afraid to bring it up. Tell him that he's more experienced than you, but you're open to suggestions.....and see what he comes up with.

You like missionary, but how many OTHER positions have you tried? That's like saying I like vanilla ice cream.....and I have no desire to try chocolate, or butter pecan. No matter what you try, or what you do, you can always incorporate missionary into it. Trying something new doesn't mean you give up the old....it simply means ADDING to the experience.

Have you tried "woman on top"? Most men love that, and most women love it more! Have you tried "doggie style"? Have you tried giving each other a massage first? Have you tried making it "his night" sometimes, and "your night" other times? Have you tried doing it on the living room floor? (ok, if you have kids, you can't do that, lol)

As Tish said, use your imagination, but you also need to tell him to use HIS! You are NOT alone in the bed, and it's not all up to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 12:02pm
He says we always do it in the bedroom. We have a 2year old son and it never fails that if we go out in the living room he wakes up. He has tried to get me to do other things, its just hard for me cause i dont like doing things i dont know how to do. we have tried me on top and he likes it but it doesnt do anything for me and i dont feel comfortable being on top. I do get off from oral, most times i do get off from the actual sex too, he hits my gspot. I am tryin to be more open minded. Hell I went to the store yesterday and bought that dice game and a "bad girl" kit..I am trying. Our normal positions are missionary, doggie, and sometimes spooning. I just didnt really know what other good positions there were...Like I said..im not very experienced. and i have tried to look online, but i get alot of porn sites when trying to find positions...Thanks for you help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 12:35pm

If you can't do it in other rooms because of your son, do it in the bedroom but not on the bed, throw a blanket on the floor, if you have a chair in your bedroom, do it on the chair.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 1:27pm
Im not comfortable with me on top cause i just cant seem to get positioned right. It just seems acuquired. that and i dont like my stomach. I know he doesnt care about it but i do..thank you so much for your help. I really want to make our sex life spicey. I dont want him feeling like its a chore..we dont have alot of time together, we both work full time and i am also going through nursing school. So i want us to be able to enjoy what little bit of time we have together. I am going to try some of these things tonight when he gets home :D...thanks again for all your help
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 1:47pm

Hon, NO one is experienced, until they become experienced. That's not a reason to avoid trying things! If no one tried new things, then EVERYONE would be bored. What you're saying this time is that your husband DOES try, but you're not going along with his suggestions. If you want "positions"......look up the Kama Sutra, illustrated. Here is just one link, but there are many others: (and they are NOT porn!)http://users.forthnet.gr/ath/nektar/kma/main.htm There are thousand of positions.....but they are all just a variation of a few basic ones, and they ALL take practice! Forget about your "lack" of experience, and start GETTING some experience!

As for WOT, or any other new position....it doesn't happen from trying ONCE. It takes practice! All women feel self conscious doing it.....until they get over it, and they get the hang of doing it right....then they love it. If you were jumping up and down, and trying to imitate a man.....that doesn't work for most of us. Your legs get tired, and it's not very good. Try just straddling him and kneeling. Then when you're comfortable, just move your hips in a circular grinding motion......slowly and sensuously.....THAT will get your "g" spot better than anything else!

Anything new has to be practiced....when you learned to ride a two wheeled bike, were you an expert the first time? Of course not. You fell over, you wobbled, but you kept practicing until you jumped on and never gave it a thought, you just RODE!

If you can't be open minded with your own husband.....then you need to work on your inhibitions. He's certainly not going to think badly of you......he WANTS you to try new things!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 7:53pm

>>It just seems acuquired. that and i dont like my stomach.<<

That's OK. Trust me, he knows that you have a stomach, and he's fine with it. I can gurantee that he will be OK with your stomach if he can have a wife that can have more fun in the bedroom and be more relaxed and uninhibited about sex. And if you do that, he's not even going to be thinking about your stomach! He'll be too busy going "Wow!". Anyway, he's probably too busy thinking about his beergut to worry about yours ;-)

Some of these moves ARE something that you have to practice. Some are also awkward and will turn out to be moves that you don't like. In the meantime, give them a try, practice a bit and then make a decision about whether or not you will try then again.

And finally, don't take it too seriously. It's meant to be fun. If things aren't working, tell him, laugh it off and try something else.