Stalemate

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Stalemate
8
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 9:44pm

Before I start, don't say that its postpartum and that can mess up your body..yada yada yada..We've had great sex..We've had amazing sex..We've had "we just ticked off the neighbors because we were too loud" sex..We've had absolutely, curl your toes fantastic sex...And now...Now..its like...What's next? We have books, we have a toy, we have a game..But, we've BTDT with just about every position there is..Except the acrobatic ones. I don't have the hip for those..Explain that to my orthopaedic doc..."I was trying to have sex upside down on a stairwell when I just fell.."

Away from the non-sequitor...What's left?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jenniekg
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 11:31pm
Now what? Go back to the basics. Make love.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
In reply to: jenniekg
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 12:15am

i say take it outside the house and the neighborhood. Office desk? Park Bench? Vehicle? Movie seats? Beach? Elevator? Balcony? DArk alley? Store restroom? STore dressing room? Of course, all of these take risks, and maybe some steep fines, but at least it won't be stalmate.

After having sex with same man for over 12 years, I was never bored and books, positions, and toys were never involved. So I'll repeat same as previous poster: Are you making love or just having sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: jenniekg
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 8:09am
I'm with the others. "Novelties" are fun sometimes, but the basics are the best......just because of the feelings involved. I can't imagine being bored!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: jenniekg
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 10:21am

I agree with the others also.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: jenniekg
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 3:51pm
Someone's hit the nail on the head with the "making love" comment.
Get back to the basics and stop having sex and start making love again. Try kissing. Lots of foreplay that involves kissing - long, soft kisses, rough passionate kisses, and everything in between. Nibble those earlobes, kiss that neck! Concentrate on the skin on skin contact between your bodies too. Makes me tingle just thinking about it (that and blooming great sex last night). :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: jenniekg
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 4:16pm

Let me clear the air, I'm so not bored. He's an amazing lover. There seems to be those nights that we have sex or make love where I just collapse on the spot. He's fantastic..In my opinion that is. You guys might have a different one, but I think he's swell! :)

I should have been more clear and elaborate a little better. I totally agree with the basics. There are nights where we start out having fun and we wind up with just making love. Its always the best. Even when we are just having fun, it always seems to be very..I can't think of a word to fit in here, but I guess..We're still connected..Does that make sense? When it comes to having fun (which we all like to do), we just don't know what's left in the fun catagory.

Westie, foreplay is great..My problem is that I'm impatient (always have been, always will be). DH is the one that wants to take it slow, be cuddly, and have lots of foreplay. I, on the other hand, am too impatient for that. Its my fault :( But, I'm working on it.

I think this is the last time I edit this puppy...I can't believe how fried my brain is..LOL
Edited 3/24/2006 5:21 pm ET by jenniekg




Edited 3/24/2006 5:24 pm ET by jenniekg
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jenniekg
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 6:51pm

I may be totally off the mark here...but what else is going on in your life other than sex? Sometimes when work is boring or people don't get a sense of accomplishment or validation through other means, they overdepend on sex to meet such needs. In such circumstances sex can only satisfy the void temporarily, and other issues still need to be worked out. I'm only mentioning it because of a sense of frenzy and impatience to get to the sex high from your posts, which is what I noticed from my friends that were in the type of predicament I described.

My first reaction to your post was in line with the others, instead of going for variety try to go deeper (i.e. spiritual).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: jenniekg
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 7:13am

Jennie, welcome back, for starts. It's good to see you. Hope all is well with the baby.

Secondly, it sounds like you want more quickies which have their own element of excitement. Do you two masturbate together? This is a good diversion from everyday sex and it's usually a quick release as well, is a great visual and is very intimate. How about servicing each other? Do you accommodate each other sexually without expecting any reciprocation? Maybe that's what you're looking for? Sometimes that kind of attention makes us feel extra-desired and pampered.

It could be that you feel that something is lacking outside of the bedroom(subconsciously) or even inside of it("Is he just having sex for his own pleasure?") and this is why you feel that something is off. Is he showing you affection outside of the bedroom? In any event, you certainly can't expect him to satisfy you, unless you figure out what it is exactly that you need.

You just had a baby. There are so many emotions and adjustments tied into it. Try and introspect. Think about what it is that you're truly feeling, and then take it from there. Sometimes, after the birth of the baby and the subsequent months that follow, there's so much going on, that you really don't think about your own needs. It's when the "lull" finally arrives, and you are settling into your new roles, that you begin to notice "feelings" that have developed. Bring them to the surface....recognize them, and then resolve them, if possible. It's all about being self-aware.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )