Starting Fresh

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
Starting Fresh
4
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 11:36pm
I have been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years now. Next week we are moving in together for the first time. We met in college and currently live with our parents so this will be the first time we will have full, 100% privacy. I would love for us to start off with a healthy sex life but have no idea how to do so. Any suggestions????


Edited 6/22/2004 12:18 am ET ET by cadenza40
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: cadenza40
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 11:51pm
If you can't talk to HIM about the differences in your sex drives, then you shouldn't be moving in with him, either. That's something that should be discussed and settled before you move in.......just as you've discussed the financial arrangements, the division of duties, etc.

If you have different ideas of how often to have sex, how to have it, etc. It's NOT going to get better just because you're living together. In fact, it might even get worse. If you can't discuss sex openly with him, then you're not ready to live with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
In reply to: cadenza40
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 11:58pm
I think I was not being very clear. We have discussed the issue of our differing sex drives and have been working on it. We communicate very openly with each other about it often. I want to know if anyone has any suggestions as to how to start off our sex life right together. We are both new to the whole concept of living together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: cadenza40
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 12:55am
You can't start new in the middle of a relationship. You can't go back to square one. Relationships grow, and develop. If you have differing sex drives, then you have to find a compromise that makes you both happy. If he wants sex every day, and you only want it once a week, then do it 2-3 times a week. Don't think moving in together is going to fix everything. If you can't compromise, then there will be problems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
In reply to: cadenza40
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 1:11am
I feel very fortunate to be with him. I know that we grow together in relationships but this is going to be an experience that is new for both of us. Like you said before, we have had to talk and plan through EVERYTHING before moving in. Sex is a very important part of the relationship and we want to be able to create an atmosphere for the both of us that will foster a positive sexual environment. Up to now we have rarely had the chance to be completely uninhibated because of our living situations. My boyfriend and I are really excited that we are going to get the chance to develop this part of our relationship. We just want to do it right.