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| Mon, 07-11-2005 - 12:11am |
About 3 years ago, I slept with an old friend. We ended up being an occasional Friday night fling for about 8 months - then we lost touch...
Until last month. I went to a party and wasn't there 2 seconds before he was found me. We started started talking, he gave me his phone number, and ended up back at his place for some incredible sex.
A week later, I called him and left a message. A week after that, he called me back. Ever since then we've been talking on the phone and texting each other almost every other day. No 'relationship' or anything - we both just want sex. A couple of times he's asked me to come over - but I've never gone...always said I was busy as not to appear desperate...LOL
Just this weekend he asked me to come over. We talked, drank a couple beers, watched tv - normal stuff. It was strange. Eventually we made it to the bedroom - where he is just fantastic. And afterwards we talked and watched tv.
I'm afraid that I am getting too comfortable with him, and that I'm going to end up falling for him. He says he loves my body and how I look, I'm 5 foot and weigh over 250 lbs. (He's 6'7" and 230.) I cannot fall for him...
So why do I want to be with him all the time?
Liz

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He was into getting all the good-looking girls too. He was athletic and popular - following in the shadows of his 'famous' older brother. He's never gotten over it either. I - on the other hand - was not good-looking, not athletic, and not popular. But it was a small town school, so everyone knew and pretty much liked everyone.
He said he likes a woman with a little meat on her bones. I have plenty of meat...lol. I about died the first time he saw me naked - I couldn't grab the blanket fast enough when he flipped on the light. But now? I feel comfortable with him, and it doesn't really bother me. I'm not going to parade around with nothing on - but atleast I won't freak out when he leaves the lights on.
How often is too often? For everything? Phone calls? Sex? I hate calling people - always think they're too busy to talk to me, or they're right in the middle of something important. He works 3rd shift and I don't want to call when he's supposed to be sleeping. I usually text message him something once a week, and he ends up calling me back. Sometimes he calls me out of the blue. I work 1st shift and every other weekend, very early in the morning (730am/week, 6am/weekends). I don't stay out late on work nights - so I don't see him. I would love to be at his place when he comes home in the morning, have sex, then get up and go to work. But I don't see that happening in the near future.
I don't know how to ask him all the questions that I have without sounding like I want to be his girlfriend - just a f*** buddy.
Any more advice?
Liz
Edited 7/12/2005 6:20 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
I know - it's disgusting. LOL
All I can think about today is how very, very fortunate this guy is to have your attentions.
Big
Denial is not just a river in Egypt, it's where you are right now! You're in denial! You keep saying you don't want more.......but if that were true, you wouldn't get knots in your stomach! You wouldn't want to just sit around and talk to him. You wouldn't be afraid to say anything to him or ask him anything....You wouldn't want to be at his place in the morning. (You don't see that happening in the near future.....I don't see it happening at all......but YOU are hoping for it!) You can't talk to him without sounding like you want to be his girlfriend? That's because you WANT to be his girlfriend.
All of that is fine if it was likely to happen, but it's not. He wants sex with NO strings, including owing you anything or any time. If you want to hang in there and hope for a change......go for it. Five years from now you'll be still hoping for a change. That is, if he hasn't found someone he DOES want a relationship with....and is out of your life.
You say he makes you feel good about yourself. That's too bad, because you SHOULD feel good about yourself all on your own, without a man to tell you that. And of course, he will do that.......he's no dummy........he needs to build a woman's ego to make her willing to give him what he wants!
Yes - sex and love are 2 different things. And the whole key thing? Genius! But unfortunately I live with my grandmother, so I don't think that would fly...
Sex and love are 2 different things. Love is when you do all the little crappy things for him - like watch really bad movies and put up with his friends just because you want to be with him. Sex is when you don't have to do all that stuff - but just want to screw him every time you see him.
I have decided that I am somewhere in the middle. I do love him, have always loved him, and probably always will...but it's a different kind of love. I've known the guy 15 years!
I want to us to be friends.
Blessings -
Liz
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