Stay FWB?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Stay FWB?
36
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 12:11am

About 3 years ago, I slept with an old friend. We ended up being an occasional Friday night fling for about 8 months - then we lost touch...

Until last month. I went to a party and wasn't there 2 seconds before he was found me. We started started talking, he gave me his phone number, and ended up back at his place for some incredible sex.

A week later, I called him and left a message. A week after that, he called me back. Ever since then we've been talking on the phone and texting each other almost every other day. No 'relationship' or anything - we both just want sex. A couple of times he's asked me to come over - but I've never gone...always said I was busy as not to appear desperate...LOL

Just this weekend he asked me to come over. We talked, drank a couple beers, watched tv - normal stuff. It was strange. Eventually we made it to the bedroom - where he is just fantastic. And afterwards we talked and watched tv.

I'm afraid that I am getting too comfortable with him, and that I'm going to end up falling for him. He says he loves my body and how I look, I'm 5 foot and weigh over 250 lbs. (He's 6'7" and 230.) I cannot fall for him...

So why do I want to be with him all the time?

Liz

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2004
In reply to: smithten_76
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 1:24pm
Love and sex are two seperate things but some people do require there to be love involved to be able to enjoy sex. That part is something personal all and different for each person. The bottom line is that sex and love are two different things.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: smithten_76
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 2:50pm

As I said, "not for everyone." I would never and have never shared my body with someone I didn't love. So, each of us gets to decide IF love and sex will be separate in our own lives.




Edited 7/14/2005 3:15 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
In reply to: smithten_76
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 8:45pm
Peanut butter and jelly are two separate things, but many people will not eat one without the other. Just because they always eat them together doesn't change the fact that they are basically separate and can be eaten separately. Same for love and sex. Or love and marriage. Or a horse and carriage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
In reply to: smithten_76
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 8:50pm
I like that analogy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
In reply to: smithten_76
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 8:51pm

At least twice I have decided that love and sex will be separate in
my life. Marriage is a great idea, but people do "change" and sometimes
we face tough decisions. I had chosen to stay and love, but go elsewhere
for the sex that was missing within the marriage. The first marriage
eventually dissolved under alcohol, drugs, and her bi-curiosity.

The second marriage looked like it would be over, but we talked and both
of us agreed to try again. In this case, too, I had decided that sex
and love would be separate in my life. Little did I know that she had
already decided the same thing.

Sex only with someone that you love is a high & noble ideal, but it
doesn't suit all couples in all seasons or forever. I'm cutting Liz
some slack. We all shud. We haven't walked a mile in her shoes. This
board is supposed to be supportive, friendly & caring. Opinions are
one thing, flaming someone is something more cruel.

Big

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: smithten_76
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 1:28am

Who's flaming anyone? I gave an opinion on her statement about love and sex being separate. I said nothing about her personally.

Learn the definition of "flaming", Big, before you accuse someone of doing it.




Edited 7/15/2005 11:25 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: smithten_76
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 1:30am

Maybe but some of us never eat one without the other. For my DH and myself, sex is an expression of love. And it's a choice we made when we married. If that changed, then we wouldn't be married anymore. May seem pie-in-the-sky to some, but it's worked for us for almost 30 years.




Edited 7/15/2005 1:47 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
In reply to: smithten_76
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 10:50am
I'll bet that now that they sell it with the peanut butter and jelly pre-mixed you're wondering why they ever bothered to sell them seperate in the first place, LOL.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: smithten_76
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 11:01am
You got it. Some people may prefer to keep buying them separately but some of us don't. LOL! Peanut butter by itself, is pretty dry and unsatisfying. You need the jelly to keep things sweet and smooth.


Edited 7/15/2005 11:02 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2004
In reply to: smithten_76
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 11:16am
And so people prefer to just have peanut butter. As I think the best sex I have is when there isn't a relationship involved to produce stress and other problems. Lets just say everyone has different taste.


Edited 7/15/2005 11:17 am ET ET by steelcountrylovin