-------Sticky Triangle-----

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
-------Sticky Triangle-----
89
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 9:46am
Let me start with the history of this story. My coworker (L) and I have been secretly seeing eachother on the side for a few months now. I was initially attracted to her, she's beautiful, but never thought it would go anywhere as previous to this I have only been with men. She brought it to my attention that she is open in her taste, and after a little talking, and a little drinking, I decided to go ahead and sleep with her. It was the best sex I've ever had, and I never looked back. So we have now been seeing each other on a regular basis without anyone knowing. That pretty much brings us up to date.

Ok so, a little while ago my coworker and I decided to go out to the bars. Her husband decided to come at the last minute. I had met her husband a few times before this, but we had never spent any real time together. He also did not know that I had been intimate with his wife. Well the three of us got along fabulously. We all had way too much to drink, and one thing led to another. We ended up back at their house and after a few more drinks, we ended up having a threesome. I was already comfortable with L, but adding her husband to the mix was amazing. I went home the next morning wondering why I had never done this before, and swearing to myself it wouldnt be the last time. And it wasn't. I believe the three of us got together about four times in one month. Each time better than the last. However I started realizing that I was really attracted to her husband more than the occasional "hookup" We started meeting for coffee and lunch breaks. (All without L knowing) Eventually I started tiring of L and my secret relationship, and wanted to go more for her husband. L obviously knows something is going on as I have been pulling away from her, but she would never guess that I am now sleeping with her husband behind her back. I feel really bad about this because initially I did have strong feelings for L, but I guess nothing can replace what a man can give you. What should I do? I don't like lying to L day after day, and she is getting pretty annoying with her constant whining about "us" There really isn't an "us" anymore, just the occasional pity sex to get her to quiet down.

Now my real problem. I recently met a new "girlfriend" and would like to introduce the husband to her, for a threesome. How do I do this without L finding out? She is really getting in the way now. TIA for your help

-- Karen--

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:37am
I won't be the target because I am in control. A sociopath huh? Wow this board does use extreme situations
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 9:25am
Have you ever stopped to wonder WHY there is no one else to "look out for you"? Most of us have a "safety net" of friends and family that DO look out for us. Why don't you? Could it possibly be that you've turned them all off with your ME ME ME attitude?

I don't think anyone questions your "right" to do anything you want to do. What they're questioning is why you're complaining about others who are doing exactly the same thing, but it's not falling into line with YOUR wishes. Hmmmmm, is it possible that they feel exactly like you do? Screw the rest of the world, I'm going to do what I want to do! Doesn't feel too good when YOUR toes are being stepped on, does it?

I agree with you that on the surface, the "child molester" analogy is a bit much, but then when you think about it......there is a similarity. Child molesters KNOW it's wrong, but they don't CARE......because they're doing what they want to do, regardless of who is hurt in the process. All they care about is their own sick needs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 9:32am
Enough with the child molester analogies. I do take offense to that, and Im asking that it be stopped. Because I sleep with a husband, who's wife has already cheated on him- IN NO WAY makes me similar to a child molester. Plus no one is stepping on my toes, and I'm not getting hurt. So when you ask me how it feels, I couldnt tell you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 9:49am

I don't believe anyone


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:00am
She is already aware of his maritial status. You are implying that I am "similar" to a child molestor, or that my mindset is. Where I live, most people have the same attitude that I do. Everyday on Wall Street you'll meet 100 people looking out for #1. Most people in our gov't look out for #1. Why, because I am, do I have similar mindset to a child molestor? Its a stretch at best
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:02am
The simple definition of a sociopath is one who doesn't care about others and puts their own needs first and foremost and who lack empathy. That's not you? Interesting you object to it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:05am
Sociopaths are frequently associated with criminals. Since I am not a criminal, I don't see your point

--Karen--
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:25am
That makes sense doesn't it? If one can not feel compassion or empathy, how else can they violate others? I also believe that narcissim is another prevalent characteristic of criminals. The act may not be illegal, but the behavior is the same. Which is why I wonder about someone who would get joy out of calling an overweight person, fatso. It's not about the degree of severity of the act itself, it's about THE BEHAVIOR and CHARACTER of the person. You may never kill anyone, but those who kill espouse similar character traits as you do. The ability to feel rightfully justified to take what they want, at the expense of others. Ted Bundy, was a sociopathic, narcissitist, who took what he wanted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 12:01pm
Is this thread serious?


Edited 9/30/2004 12:02 pm ET ET by skeehn2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 12:07pm
Ok people, pick one. Which one am I, is it a child molestor or a serial killer. Perhaps someone would like to add rapist to my list of attributes! I am not ignorant enough to believe that you are posting this just for laughs. You are comparing my behavior to those of a molestor or killer. Really now- I assure you my situation includes two CONSENTING ADULTS, who I am 100 percent sure are very much alive when I leave our sexual encounters.

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