-------Sticky Triangle-----
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| Wed, 09-29-2004 - 9:46am |
Ok so, a little while ago my coworker and I decided to go out to the bars. Her husband decided to come at the last minute. I had met her husband a few times before this, but we had never spent any real time together. He also did not know that I had been intimate with his wife. Well the three of us got along fabulously. We all had way too much to drink, and one thing led to another. We ended up back at their house and after a few more drinks, we ended up having a threesome. I was already comfortable with L, but adding her husband to the mix was amazing. I went home the next morning wondering why I had never done this before, and swearing to myself it wouldnt be the last time. And it wasn't. I believe the three of us got together about four times in one month. Each time better than the last. However I started realizing that I was really attracted to her husband more than the occasional "hookup" We started meeting for coffee and lunch breaks. (All without L knowing) Eventually I started tiring of L and my secret relationship, and wanted to go more for her husband. L obviously knows something is going on as I have been pulling away from her, but she would never guess that I am now sleeping with her husband behind her back. I feel really bad about this because initially I did have strong feelings for L, but I guess nothing can replace what a man can give you. What should I do? I don't like lying to L day after day, and she is getting pretty annoying with her constant whining about "us" There really isn't an "us" anymore, just the occasional pity sex to get her to quiet down.
Now my real problem. I recently met a new "girlfriend" and would like to introduce the husband to her, for a threesome. How do I do this without L finding out? She is really getting in the way now. TIA for your help
-- Karen--

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-phat
Personally I think what you are doing is wrong for more reasons than one but it is not my place to reprimand you... I have confidence in karma, you will get what you deserve that is just how things go. For all we know they could find out about it, apologize to each other for making a mistake, learn from it, and boot you out of the picture.
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
I have not had a chance to read all of the replies to this post. This is interesting to say the least. It's always interesting in a format like this to go back and re-read your own posts and responses to other posts. The answer to the questions that you have are usually contained in the questions themselves. What jumped out at me in particular was that you felt that you were too busy to be involved with emotions and that this was a "dog eat dog" world. What you believe you create in your life. To me, that is the issue that you are having and this situation with this couple is just a way for you to embrace it. You are asking a group of strangers on the internet for help figuring out how to do something that you know is clearly damaging to others and yourself. You are continually denying that you have any responsibility while at the same time your very question unconsciously is saying "I am responsible"...guess what...You are responsible. Which is not the same as saying you are to blame. Life is offering you a chance to be more complete and heal something deep inside...take the opportunity, or it will continue to come up.
Do you see the paradox here? It's interesting. The problem that you are having as I see it, is that you are disconnected with the rest of humanity. You are looking for connection and attempting to find it through sex. Sex can only connect when we allow ourselves to feel real emotion...and that includes all of the "negative" emotions. If we don't combine real emotions with sex, than sex actually isolates. See if this resonates with you...see if there may be some truth behind this. Usually if you "can't be bothered with emotions", it's because there is something really hurt inside you that wants to hide. If you let it out though it has the possibility of healing, if you keep it inside it can control and ruin your life.
I don't think you're a slut or a bad person. I just think that inside you're sad and need to deal with that rather than all of this sexual drama. Sex is always a sympton of happiness or sadness. Sex magnifies whatever is inside you that needs to come out.
Good luck and much love to you.
Scott.
Phat, women are perfectly capable of enjoying sex WITHOUT intercourse. If a woman was adamant NOT to have intercourse, then you remove the risk totally, right? Take sperm and egg totally out of it. Do you still think that there would be a double standard? You really don't believe that women weren't having illicit sex on the side do you? Hypothetically speaking, what if women had sex with many men but just wouldn't allow them to penetrate? (Perhaps that's why oral, manual, and and anal sex were borne....adaptation.) Somehow, I'd still think that the double standard would still exist even if women never became pregnant because they were responsible enough not to NOT allow penetration(and men complied). I truly believe it has to do with men and their issues with woman having any type of sex with other males. Even if a woman were only to have oral, anal, or manual sex with several partners, she'd still be considered a floosy, whereas a guy who has penetration isn't(even today). Why? Because the double standard has nothing to to do with her risk of pregnancy.
Ahhh, yes, the glorious clitoris.....maybe God is a woman after all.
Edited 10/2/2004 6:15 pm ET ET by life_is_but_a_dream
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