Stop Pulling On My Nips!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Stop Pulling On My Nips!!!
12
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 9:54am
My SO and I have been together for almost 6 years, great sex I might add!

I love when he nibbles and tugs on my nipples but recently his fetish is to pull HARD and bite HARD on my nipples. I have asked him to treat my nipples gently, but he just replies "Oh stop complaining, I like it." I want to please him and therefore I endure the pain. But the pain turns me off!

I've thought of pulling his "sac" real hard, looking at him straight in the eye, and asking him "THIS IS HOW IT FEELS!!!!" However, that would be the psycho approach.

Any ideas on how I can communicate to him to go easy on my nips?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2003
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 10:09am


The worst thing to do is let this go on. You may want to please him but that will soon turn to hate. You will shut down and not want to have sexual relations because of the anticipation of pain. Tell him it hurts and you do not like it. that should be enough. If he continues return the favor and see if he likes it.

Is there any reason he may be holding some kind of resentment towards you, and wants to cause you pain. Like punish you?

Avatar for luvmylittleones
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 10:22am
It appears you have already attempted to communicate that and he is not listening. I suggest trying again and just outright say it hurts and show him how hard your limit is if he doesn't listen I would assume your choices would be to decide against sex until he can refrain from hurting you or returning the favor so he can truly appreciate what you mean by 'this hurts me, so stop it' (I see to many possible repurcussions with plan b, I personally would not go that route).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 10:50am
NICE! He says to stop complaining, because HE likes it? And you're allowing it to continue?

The next time he does it, tell him again, to stop, that it hurts. If he won't stop, then the session ends right there! Other than retribution, what else can you do? Something is wrong if he doesn't care that you're in pain! Of course, HE has nipples, doesn't he? Maybe a little of the same?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 11:17am
I'm sorry, but I'd wonder about his character overall. Any man who would FORCE himself on you after you've COMMUNICATED YOUR LIMITATIONS(which only you are privy to), would raise a GIANT RED FLAG for me. Even if he were Mr. Wonderful outside of the bedroom, I'll bet you any dollar amount, eventually his inconsiderate(who cares what you think) attitude will eventually rear it's ugly head in your relationship. This is not a sexual flaw, it's a character flaw. Even if he were into S&M, his disrespect of you is apparent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 12:14pm
You told him you don't like it and it causes you pain, he tells you to stop complaining because he likes it.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 1:36pm
Sorry there's not too much I can add here that hasn't already been said. I know that as a man I have accidenly bitten too hard or rubbed too hard, I've hit the cervix a couple of times, but never intentionally... and I feel really bad to the point it affects the session. I totally agree that you should outright & loudly exclaim that it hurts. You should have already been heard by now anyway. I am sorry this has happened to you & hope that he listens befor he hurts you again or causes more emotional distress.

Sincerely,

Stephen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 2:14pm
Sorry this reply will be hurried, but just wanted to respond. I think some men are just this way - they want it "their way" and will just disgard your requests and feelings sometimes - even though they love you. There is something wrong with him if he doesn't stop hurting you in this manner. We had the same type of problem at our house and we entered counseling because of it. If you love him and don't want to leave him, you may want to consider that.

Have a great 4th of July weekend. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 3:41pm
Thank you for your replies everybody.

Perhaps the problem is I only approach him about it when he is actually doing it.

I am going to talk to him about it over dinner...things usually sink in after a few hours. Hopefully, by tomorrow night, he will have remembered our conversation.

If not... I guess I am going to have to Hoover the sac... with my teeth!!!!

Again, seriously.... thank you for the great replies!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 7:20pm
...make sure you tell him about much it hurts when you AREN'T in the middle of sex....because then hormones get in the way and he just won't quite hear what you are saying.....

...maybe afterwards, if there is some quiet mellow time...tell him then, that you love having your nipples stimulated...but when it hurts too much, then it takes away the pleasure and just hurts.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 7:01am
IMO, you need to TALK to him; away from the bedroom. I suggest over a cup of coffee IN A SEMI-PUBLIC PLACE. Tell him he is HURTING you; EXPLAIN YOUR SEXUAL BOUNDARIES. Pleasing is one thing; but, your guy is being selfish! Mac

 

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