Strange question, I think

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Strange question, I think
3
Sat, 01-12-2013 - 11:20am

I'm a 62-year-old male who has heard since his teen years that sex for men is physical and for women it's emotional.  This may be a dumb question, but aside from orgasm do women enjoy sex physically if there's no emotional involvement?  I've been divorced twice and in both instances when the romance faded so did the sex.  Is there any physical pleasure just from things like penetration or breast play, even if you don't like the guy?  This may be an incredibly ignorant question, but when you hear something for decades it can make you wonder.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Sun, 01-20-2013 - 9:32am

  If I do not like the guy, I am not going to have sex with him.  For me, sex with partners that I am emotionally involved with is much better.  Sex with partners I am not emotionally involved with is still pleasurable.  When I was between relationships I would have sex when I wanted, providing I could find a partner.

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-1999
Mon, 01-14-2013 - 10:57pm
Greetings, MC! Yes, I've been in a sexual relationship where I didn't bring my emotional side (romance and spooning. :o) I was really learning about my sexuality, so orgasms weren't my prime focus. He helped me learn about pleasure, much like a chef prepares an exquisite meal. It's more about the entire dining experience than just one dish. And there are layers of attraction. Liking a man is too ambiguous, I liked him enough to take him to bed with me! But it wasn't a sleepover, I did send him home before sunrise. ~chezy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 01-12-2013 - 12:36pm

...  that sex for men is physical and for women it's emotional.  

I think it is an oversimplification.  It is a combination of both the physical and emotional aspects that makes great sex.  It is, however, highly likley that most men can enjoy sex with very little emotional attachment while it is more difficult for women to do so (but not impossible).  The way I look at it is maybe the contributing factors for earth-shattering sex is 80% "physical" and 20% "emotional" for men, and the reverse for women. 

This may be a dumb question, but aside from orgasm do women enjoy sex physically if there's no emotional involvement?

It depends.  Speaking from personal experience, I can (and have) enjoy sex with no emotional involvement if the man has charisma and good personal hygiene.  The problem is women sometimes develop emotions as a result of good mindless sex and end up feeling attached to the "wrong" men.  (Blame it on hormones).

FYI, I am a woman in her early 40's, divorced and happily remarried.