strange sex problem?
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| Sun, 05-27-2007 - 4:38pm |
Hi,
I have absolutely no idea where this question should go.. but hopefully here is a good place. I think my best friend has a sex problem and I'd like to know what to do or if this is some kind of condition (I'm going to call her Sarah). She is really beautiful, smart, and funny but she turns into a monster when drunk and gets mad at all of her (girl) friends for no reason at all and throws herself at really unappealing men. She does this to the point where men treat her without respect and they even reject her because she comes on too strong. I think she sleeps with a lot more men than she lets on and lies about it. She doesn't actually need to be very drunk for this to happen. Sarah and I used to work at the same office and I've heard all kinds of stories from some of the guys who work there - for example that she got drunk at an office party and tried to have sex with one of the guys from the auditing department in public! It's out of control. Help?
Cecily

There's nothing you can do about it, she does have a right to live her life how she wants to live it.
Welcome to the board cecily83.
I think it sounds like your friend may have some insecurities and/or a drinking problem. As a friend, I think the only thing you can do is be there to support her. Let her know that you care about her safety and well-being; but don't expect that you can change her behavior. You can reassure her about positive things ... how much she has to offer as a person, how intelligent she is, what she deserves from life, etc. If she is having problems with self-confidence, then bringing out her attributes can only help to build her confidence.
Sometimes, when a friend is in trouble, you might want to place yourself in their life "too much". It's really better for both of you if you save your energy to catch her when she falls and then help her get back on her feet when she is ready.
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I agree with the others. There's nothing you can do for her....she needs to see for herself that she has problems, and until she's ready to see and admit it, she's not going to listen to you or anyone else. Before she can fix a problem, she has to admit to herself that she HAS a problem.
Her problem isn't sex, her problem is alcoholism. It's a disease....but there can also be an "emotional" problem going on. It's called low self esteem and/or lack of self respect. She doesn't think much of herself, she thinks this is how you get guys.....by giving them sex. People with self esteem problems will drink because the alcohol gives them a false sense of "self confidence".
As the others said, try to "be there" for her when she realizes what her behavior is doing to her. She's liable to wind up with STD's and/or pregnant with this kind of behavior. Let her know you're worried about her, and of course she'll say you have nothing to worry about.....but eventually, she'll get it (hopefully), and then you can help her. It's sad to watch someone you love destroying themselves, but until she is ready for help, no one can help her.