strapon sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2007
strapon sex
28
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 7:11pm
I am interested in anal sex.I'm looking for advice on how to ask my girlfriend,to use a strapon on me.I don't want her to think i'm a freek or gay.How can i bring it up.Any info you have would be good.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: m00re79
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 8:30pm

Get into a conversation


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: m00re79
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 8:32pm

Man, I feel your pain, it's a tough one dawg!

How long have you guys been together? How openly are yo able to communicate? Has she played with you at all anally on her own initiative? How is she with the idea of anal sex?

I believe in being open and communicative. It's pretty hard to tell what her reaction will be dude, it depends on how "with it" she is. If i was really scared she might freak i might try something a little sneaky. I don't condone dishonesty, but this situation could be tragic. Rent two movies, assuming she watches porn with you, one needs to be a bend over boyfriend type, or even that movie itself, or the second one. Switch the movie iinto the box of the more common stuff you guys watch. Then, Hey what the heck....let her see how turned on by it you get, and watch her reaction. I would be so cool to just be able to ask for it, but you could risk a serious body slam. Been there, done that! Very devastating.

There are some awsomely playful ladies here maybe they could help! I would love to hear what they say.

All the luck guy!

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: m00re79
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 8:41pm

issytish!

I dunno girl, I only wish more were like you. I have heard somee pretty harsh comments, one in which the women said she didn't want to even hear any BS excuses. I wish waht you propose was always that easy. It is very scary for a guy to bring this up especially if he is not quite sure where his lady stands on it!

Isn't it ironic that the guys who won't even consider it end up with the women who wnat to do it, yet those of us who want it are afraid to ask for feat we will be trashed even for suggesting it!

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: m00re79
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:09pm

I guess I'm used to Dh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: m00re79
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:39pm
I hate that he won't do that with you, I know how frustrating it is! I opened up to my ex wife that I wanted her to do me with a strap-on, the look on her face almost spoke for her, then she opened her mouth. She totally rejected me, and had me crawl so far back inside myself that i no longer even desired sex anymore. Now, when i meet a new partner i have to deal with those same fears of rejection. It is very hard to come out about it. That is why this site has been cathartic in the sense that i can talk to some terrifically open minded women who would be totally into it. There is hope!

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: m00re79
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 10:49pm

I'm sorry your ex/w reacted that way and that

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: m00re79
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 11:39pm
I agree with you 100 percent, it really isn't any fun if your partner is only doing it because yoou wznt to do it. One must really consider themselbes lucky when you read some of the posts. When sex isn't an issue it is a little thing, when it is an issue it is huge. I must say, most of the ladies here are wonderfully openminded and adventurous. yourself included.

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
In reply to: m00re79
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 12:17am

My DH & I have never used a strapon but I have used toys on him. In the past I would have probably thought he was nuts but you know he has always been one to "plant the seed". We talk a lot & when he's interested in trying something new which might be a little out there he kinda just drops the idea & let's me process it & we talk more. Most times we do end up doing the different stuff. I don't know if she has ever done any anal play on you, if she hasn't maybe suggest a finger and work up to a toy & then see how she feels about a strapon. Work her up to the idea until she's ready to take the initiative & give it a try. Can't hurt to try. You might be surprised. She may be up for it.

SexyPRgirl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
In reply to: m00re79
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 11:17am

You definitely need to be able to talk to her about your fantasies and hope that she looks at you with a look that says 'that might be interesting'. I agree with sexyprgirl that you could also ask her to penetrate you with her finger (or a small toy) during sex and let her know how much you like it. If she sees that she is pleasing you that may give her the impetous to ask if there is anything else she could do to please you.

Personally .. I wouldnt have a problem with that if my guy wanted me to do it, although it isn't necessarily something that I fantazie about. But I think in the end it would probably turn me on anyway lol. I tend to be more slightly subordinate with him but there have been times when I took the control away and he enjoys that too! So maybe one day I will try that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: m00re79
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 12:40pm

This isn't really directed at anybody, just throwing it out there.

In making love and having vaginal, or anal, intercourse with my partner I never feel like I give dominant or subordinant any consideration. I may be on top, she may be on top, I may initiate or she might. Now I realize that part of the turn on, for some women, is the power they feel from having the strapon, and of course it goes without saying for role play, but does it always have to cme down to a power/control thing. I like the equality, each pleasing and being pleased. Is it just me?

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Solve et Coagu

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