Stretched out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2005
Stretched out?
63
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 8:01pm
Last March, my boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up. We had regular sex for the entire time we dated, and he had a large penis. Now I'm seeing someone new, and he is considerably smaller. This is no problem to me, but he didn't come when we had sex. Could it be that I'm "stretched out" from my previous, well-endowed boyfriend and it isn't tight enough for my new guy??? Or since it was a first time, maybe it was a nerves thing??? i'm worried!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: kachstre
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 11:39am

"I've always heard that from the second child on, giving birth is easier. Why is that?"

First off, Mutt, the cervix is the crucial point of passing the baby, NOT the vagina. The vagina is not where the problem lies in delivery, but in the cervix. I don't know this for a fact, but even if the baby is stuck I believe that a part of it is stuck in the cervix, not the vagina. Did you ever see the birth of a baby...when at one point, it actually shoots out? Its' probably because it cleared the cervix, not because it was stuck in the vagina. Think about it, when the head clears into the vagina, the shoulders are trying to pass through the cervix. Usually once the shoulders clear the baby slips out(you usually see it project) and the doctor has to "catch" it. Most likely the reason that subsequent deliveries MAY(and that's a big MAY) be easier is due to the condition of the cervix(it may dialate faster), not the vagina.

Another reason for a quicker delivery may be the experience of the mother. When the cervix is dilated enough to pass the baby the doctor gives you the instruction to push. The kind of pushing is sort of a bearing down and it's not always easy to just "get." The baby may not even budge so you think you're doing it wrong. Once you get the "feel" of how you're suppose to push correctly, you can work with the contractions to get the baby out faster. A woman whose been through it before knows how to push more efficiently, therefore moving the process along quicker.

There's no guarantee though, that the third will be quicker than the first.

http://www.amazingpregnancy.com/pregnancy-articles/359.html

"Here's another one: I've heard this anecdote once or twice: The husband is on the large side and sex is somewhat painful for her if they're not careful (something you've pointed out). They have their first child and sex after is much more comfortable. Why is that?

I couldn't say. I can only give my own experience. I had two children and no changes to the vagina(at least not any noticeable changes) have occurred. Again, the vagina is elastic, so as long as the woman didn't have any trauma during birth, is healthy and producing estrogen, her vagina should return to it's natural state. I mean immediately after birth you bleed for a few weeks. Lots of women use tampons and the reason they stay in is because the walls of the vagina hold them.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: kachstre
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 4:43pm

Now I can disagree, lol The baby question. In "general" each delivery is easier...but that's not always the case. A woman can have an easy delivery the first time, and a harder one the second time. There are too many varying factors to expect each birth to be easier. The baby could be in a breech position, the uterus might not be cooperating, or many other things that will make each delivery different. More often than not, they ARE easier, but not always. The "pain factor" in childbirth is not pain in the vagina, it's the "cramping" of the uterus.....natures way of pushing the baby out. Luckily, the lack of nerve endings in the vagina make that part relatively pain-free....except at the opening...which is surrounded by the PC muscles, which DON't stretch a lot. In the "olden" days when I had babies, the doctor would do an episiotomy, (a cut in the opening of the vagina) then stitch it up after the birth. I think that's one reason the idea started that a woman will be looser, because she has to be stitched back together. Actually, if the doctor doesn't know what he's doing he CAN make the opening smaller than it was originally. But, these days, they just let the woman tear, and then sew her up. My Dr. told me he'd rather stitch up a straight cut than a tear!

As for sex with a large man being easier after having a child.......where's the correlation for that? Her vagina will STILL go back to it's original size, or very close to it after having a baby. If anything, after a pregnancy, the uterus might be lower in the vagina, which would cause pain that might not have been there before the pregnancy. During pregnancy, the muscles and tendons that hold the non-pregnant uterus in place will be stretched, and THEY don't snap back into place as easily as the vaginal muscles. Many women develop a tilted or prolapsed uterus after a pregnancy or two, and that will leave the cervix in a different, and possible lower position in the vagina.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: kachstre
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 6:21pm
My 1st delivery was a breeze but the 2nd was much more difficult. So, the theory that it gets easier with each one is bunk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
In reply to: kachstre
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 10:12pm

Excellent responses all, but what about the rest of my post?

mutt

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
In reply to: kachstre
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 10:31pm
Tish, that reply is as funny as anything I have read in a long long time. lol for real
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
In reply to: kachstre
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 11:29pm
I too wonder about this topic. All I can tell is I had a friend who didn't have sex for 10 years, and she said when she did finally do it, she was a lot smaller and tighter. So even if you are stretched out(which I'm not saying you are since I'm confused about this topic myself), in time you will get back to before.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: kachstre
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 7:20am
It made sense to me!

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: kachstre
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 7:24am
If she didn't have sex for 10 years, her tightness or feeling smaller would most likely be due to her not being fully relaxed, comfortable and a bit nervous.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2003
In reply to: kachstre
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 7:55am

What you, and other women are saying on this thread seem to be contradicting what you say in other threads.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
In reply to: kachstre
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 8:53am
I'm with you. I really don't know what to think. But to be on the safe side I avoid all large things and stick to average.

Pages