Successful anal sex , lrg man sm woman
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| Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:59pm |
I've been lurking and reading for about a month and I enjoy the exchange of information and sharing taking place. There are not many places I felt that I could, as a man, ask for female's opinions about sexual technique and a female's perspective.
My boring background details. I am forty-one year old male married to the most wonderful woman to walk into my part of the world. We have been together for 15 yrs, almost 10 of them married.
Now on to my dilemma.
I recently expressed my desire to try anal sex to my DW. She is receptive to the idea (pun intended ;-) . She enjoys digital anal play during oral and during intercourse.
My concern about a successful introduction to anal sex for both of us is twofold.
I have a fairly large penis. I am just under 8" in length and pretty thick with a large head that is larger than the shaft. My DW is a petite woman with a deliciously curvy 4'11" frame. The size of my member has not been a problem for her for regular vaginal sex, and only sometimes for oral. But successful anal penetration may be a different story related to my second concern.
After oral sex and a clitoral orgasm my DW's clit is extremely sensitive. So much so that even getting my hand or lips in the vicinity of her clit can make her jump a foot off the bed. I have been educating myself about anal sex techniques and a common theme is continued clitoral stimulation before, during and after anal penetration. This may be out of the question due to her sensitivity.
Do any woman here have the same level of sensitivity and enjoy anal? How have you worked around this issue? What did it take to get you hot enough and ready for anal sex the first time?
I have purchased some toys to introduce her to the feeling of anal penetration with something larger than a finger. But any tips and suggestions are welcome.
I really want the first time to be a sensuous and enjoyable addition to our already wonderful sex life. I just don't want to hurt her or shutdown her enjoyment of anal.

Leticia
Nope, I'm not a woman, LOL, but I think I might have a couple of ideas for ya that might help anyway.
According to what I've read oftentimes from so many posts and message boards and even articles, do NOT get your expectations too high. Realize that your first few attempts are likely going to be experimentation only...try to refrain from making it your goal to actually succeed on your first or first few tries.
Insert the head of your penis until she indicates thats enough and just experiment with what she can tolerate further without her pushing it to the painful limit. Make sure she understands that pain does NOT have to be part of the enjoyment, although MANY women have posted that pain is only initial, she must listen to her body anyway. The tissue and sensitive parts of that area were not deliberately designed for insertion and are MUCH more easily capable of being torn/damaged than we realize, since that lining was designed for exiting only.
I'm sure you already realize the importance of enough lube.
Here's a few links that I REALLY encourage you to take a peek at regarding the "pain" often associated with anal, along with other tips that may help:
http://www.ivillage.com/relationships/experts/sexpro/articles/0,,413030_272744,00.html
http://www.ivillage.com/relationships/experts/experts_by_month/articles/0,,413030_443231,00.html
http://www.ivillagehealth.com/experts/womens/qas/0,,192667_151477,00.html
http://www.ivillage.com/relationships/experts/sexcoach/qas/0,,189074_16208,00.
The very best tip I've both offered AND read regarding penis sizes being too big for smaller women during vaginal intercourse can really be applied for anal as well: Just let HER decide how far things go at first be having HER be on top and lowering herself onto your penis. That way, SHE controls the whole shebang to her preference and tolerance and it will make things MUCH easier for you both as progresses.
Hope this makes your decision to post very worth while, lol. Also consider the Dr. Ruth message board too; I'm sure they're VERY experienced with this.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlruth
:)
:)
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
Leticia
Thanks for answering and your suggestions. LOTS of lube is a given.
I'm glad that you took the time to answer. I have been following some of your posts and you seem like a woman that enjoys sex in all it’s wonderful combinations.
Thanks to you also Para.