sudden increase in sex drive
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sudden increase in sex drive
| Thu, 08-19-2004 - 3:07pm |
I never had a real strong sex drive, even when I was young (I am a 41 year old mother of 2, married 17 years) and after the birth of my second child, now 6, my sex drive has been extreemly low at best. My husband was very patient and understood and we were making love about twice a month. He always had to initiate and although it took time I would usually warm up eventually and orgasm about half the time. I rarely if ever masturbated, maybe once or twice a year. Now, almost overnight,for about a month, this has all changed. I think about sex constantly, we are making love once or twice a day and I have found some interest in masturbation. It still takes some time for me to climax but, I am really enjoying the arousal stage and being so intimate with my husband. There have even been some nights where I can hardly sleep, just waiting for him to wake up so we can do it again. So you ask... where's the problem? Im not sure. I am so suprised at myself that I am not sure if this is normal and/or healthy. Could there be an underlying health or hormonal issue I am dealing with? Will this all return to "normal" (I hope not)
The second part of my question entails what to do with all this sexual energy. As I have said I never had much sex drive so I/we rarely had a lot of variation in the bedroom. Now I am looking for ideas to take advantage of this situiation. I really want to make him as excited about this as I am and I dont want him getting bored or disinterested. I guess I want some suggestions about how to make him REALLY enjoy our time together. In the past it has always been him trying to excite me and now I want to return the favor but, because of lack of experience, Im not sure how. I know that this sounds really niave for someone happily married for 17 years, but I guess that is the effect of a lifetime of low libido. Any suggestions will be appreciated

You high sex drive can be from hormonal changes if you are starting to go through perimenopause.
Also, you're finally a "mature" woman, who has learned to accept yourself as you are, and you've gotten over any insecurities or hang-ups that you had when you were younger. ENJOY IT!
As for your husband enjoying it as much as you do.....don't kid yourself, he IS enjoying it....he's loving it! Now is the time for you two to start talking, and start trying new things. I'm sure he'll have some ideas! Go out and get some soft porn videos if you need inspiration.
You're learning something now that I learned many years ago.....and the younger women have yet to learn. The older you get, the better it can be. When I was young, sex was "good" but it was also a kind of "duty" to make my partner happy. Now, I'm making myself happy, and my partner will reap the benefits.
Where in the hell were you when I got divorced?!?! LOL
Your Husband is a very lucky man.
And just as you said
Initiating is such a turn on for us men. We've had to do it throughout time.
And when my gf does initiate.....I am at her mercy, to say the least.
I've always said "the Golden Rule says it all."
"Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you"
If you like to be touched and complimented, so will he.
So no, your not going crazy or anything, just came into your "prime"!
I think hormones could be partially what is going on.... and can be controlled. Find a good dr and go talk to them.... be open and honest so they can help you. As for what to do to help with the sexual energy. I find going to the gym helps... Well... kind of... some days it just winds me up even more.
In one of the other posts here someone made the comment about how we all need to grow... in everyway as we mature and I could not agree more. I have never weighed more but yet in the bedroom I have no inhibitions and I am very sexually confident. Are there some things I like more than others... yes... but on a good night I can have over 6 orgasms where dh gets completely wet. For us when I am really wound up I find calling him and saying - you better not work too hard today because I hve plans for tonight - works well. He does work hard and can be tired, but I am always ready.
Do something fun - tie a bandana around his eyes and be the leader for an evening - light some candles - drugstore.com has some neat soy candles that you can massage with. Talk about your fantasies - both of you. Shave for him - or let him shave you... there are things you can do that will literally surprise the pants off him. And after all - isn't that the point?
C
Courtney
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom
Danielle