Swallowing

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Swallowing
54
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 2:08pm
I know it varies for each man, but how important is swallowing or at least ejaculating in someone's mouth? I really dislike the smell and taste of semen, and will not allow a man to "finish" during oral sex. I either use oral sex as foreplay only, or finish the job with my hand. My boyfriend said that I am the only girl he has been with that won't do it, but he assured me that he is okay with the fact that I don't. I know that he wished I would though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 1:11pm
Dear Husband

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 2:43pm
Hey Leticia,

With the way more and more people are viewing marriage these days, istead of telling craig that it means "Dear Husband"

lets tell him it means "Designated Husband"

LOL!!!

;)

;]

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 3:07pm
>>With the way more and more people are viewing marriage these days, istead of telling craig that it means "Dear Husband"

lets tell him it means "Designated Husband" <<

Yeah, you're probably right. There is also SO for Significant Other that would work too though. Perhaps Designated Housemate? ;o)

Leticia

Avatar for cyrilpatrick
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 9:13pm
You certainly seem to have struck a nerve. Too many responses to read all of them so forgive me if I'm being repetitive, but I wanted to add my male view. I feel that swallowing is not very important but finishing a delicious oral experience without switching gears is certainly more appealing to me. It may all be in my mind (as most good sex is anyway), but the pleasure of a warm mouth far exceeds a hand or breast and it is a letdown to switch at the last moment. Having said that, I could care less if my come were allowed to dribble out of the mouth ("spitting out" sounds as though I'm repulsive to my partner).

I might also add that although I have had the pleasure of receiving oral sex from many women, only two have been able to successfully bring me to orgasm orally. It's always been curious to me why that is so, since I do not deliberately hold back. On more than one occasion, I have had a partner become almost offended or concerned about their technique because they could not get me to come, and I have had to assure them that I found the experience pleasurable (which was certainly true) but just wasn't able to complete the experience orally ... the enjoyable intercourse that followed usually assuaged their concerns. My point though is that, contrary to one of the views I read, not all women perform oral sex simply to "tolerate" a man's desire. If you are in a relationship where someone has shown due concern for your pleasure and a willingness to ensure that you are pleased, I think it is natural to not only want to be equally concerned and willing to please him but to actually enjoy doing so.

In the end, it's all about sharing pleasure, so expand your experience by trying different things but never feel as though you have to do anything ... it's whatever pleases both of you. summerbjak@mail2leo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 10:06pm

Great post summerbjak and I think the statement below you made summed it all up.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 11:11am
"I also don't believe most women preform oral and just tolerate it for their man's desire. I feel both partners should enjoy what they are doing, if one partner is not enjoying, it makes a big difference."

Unfortunately, that is so true. Many men on the other message boards have actually been junked off for someone else simply because of performance issues, whether their personal issues were physiological or by choice. Such a shame that relationships are becoming more and more based on comparing what one can with you these days...its just a matter of time before the cookie jar goes empty with couples like that.

Those guys feel so pressured into psyching themselves to go down on the ladies just to make sure they don't lose 'em, especially for reasons like that. If its entirely pressure based, then who really wants it? Apparantly, the younger generation wants it regardless...LOL!!

Mrs. & I can't resist the herky jerky reactions that come out of pleasing one another, so for us, unlike much of the younger generation, it never really is a "chore" of any sort for us to please each other. I really agree with what Kat's mum said ealier, and I'd probably regret it too had I not pleased Mrs. Para from time to time "even if" I wasn't enjoying it myself every single time. TRUST ME, goooooood cunnilingus does NOT deter her from wanting/enjoying it even when I don't at times...RAOFL!!

;]

;P

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 12:10pm

So, why do you think the younger generation will do


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 1:15pm
My father didn't think that "good girls" did that, and to him, my mom was a good and respectable girl. He would have never asked her to do it. So, it wasn't a decision she made alone. It was part of the thinking at the time.

We had some wonderfully candid and honest discussions, before she died 6 yrs. ago. We talked about our mutual sex lives and I discovered/learned a lot about theirs.

When she asked me if we engaged in oral sex and found out that we do, she expressed regret at not providing that pleasure for my dad. He died at age 52, when she was 42 and they were one another's true loves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 6:22pm
>>Who wants a sexual relationship based on pressures? If it's not mutual pleasure, I don't want it.<<

NONE of us do Tish, but we're not talking about YOU or ME, I was specifically referring to those who cling to those relationships regardless. THOSE people were the topic of my discussion, .

If you're asking me "why" they would anyway, try asking THEM. I can only tell you what we've discovered through being mentors to them from time to time as well as whats been posted across the internet. Most of the time it was a matter of clinging because of security/insecurity issues. I'm not at liberty to answer you for them tough.

>>It's the same as me not always wanting to go down on Dh but I do it out of wanting to pleasure him, not because I feel pressured into it.<<

Um...and just where do we on THAT Tish??? LOL!!! At what point did I say otherwise? Sorry you misread me, but I DO NOT believe in pressure. Of allllll the posts I have always made regarding pressuring, I still don't quite understand how I'm not getting my point across. ]] Let that point be made clear, YET, again everybody...make NO mistake...enough is enough. LOL!!

>>As per your post on what DH should mean, I can say "dear husband" safely since we're marred 24 yrs, instead of saying "designated husband" lol<<

Yes Tish, YOU can say that, I can say that, but others out there would probably jump all over the preference of using the term "designated" anyway. Their lack of belief in (permanent) marriage, other than being a piece of paper, pretty much speaks volumes, lol!

hubby para

for EVER

and very thankful for it

:)

:)

:)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 6:33pm
Maybe my interpretation of your post is very different from what you're trying to say, but did she regret for 'his' sake or did she regret not experiencing what it was like for the both of them?

I hear so often how many women enjoy anal play, yet Mrs. & I don't even discuss it anymore cause we never have nor will explore it. She's stressed she doesn't want it...talk done. Now if I regretted never getting to pleasure her in that fashion, even though she had her reasons for not wanting it, REGARDLESS the reason mind you, then is that similar to what you're saying, or she's saying?

Could drop this as soon as you wish, just curious cause it almost sounds similar to my marriage in certain spots too. Willing to bet there just may be others as well.

 

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