Taking Control

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
Taking Control
4
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 7:07pm
So I'm in a fairly new relationship (about 4 months) and I'm happy to say the sex is great. We're both really open in talking about what "works" for us in the bedroom. Here's the catch, I like it when a guy takes control and he likes when the girl takes charge. I'm totally willing (and even a little) excited to try this new role, but I could use a bit of help. I'm not sure how to mix it up since my past relationships haven't really gone in that direction. Maybe some advice for the newbie??? Like for instance, how do I just suddenly take charge and pull off a reverse cowgirl kind of move? Quite honestly, the best turn-on for me is to see my partner super sexually satisfied so I'll be a sure thing if I can master some moves like these!! I'm up for just about anything...and so is he it would seem ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 11:28pm
Welcome to Let's Talk About Sex


It's great that the two of you are open to talking about sex. Since you both want to have times where the other is in control, you could suggest that you take turns. Maybe pick a night of the week that is just for this (like Friday), or a different night of the week for each of you to be in control (like Tuesday and Friday). Then the other days are still open for the play that you are already accustomed to.



I think once you start taking control, it will be easy to find ways to work it in at different times.





I hope you decide to stick around!




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 12:08pm

It depends on how far you want to go. I have gone as far as hitting his penis while he holds it, but not a lot of guys are into that. THis one guy liked for me to humiliate him, so if he didn't move fast enough or if he wasn't paying attention, I would grab his face and tongue him hard, then smack his face and tell him how many times i was going to slap his penis and make him count. He would explode before we even had sex. But that is extreme

I enjoy the guy being in control, but I did have a cop who let me take control once. I did a lot of mind control stuff, like asking him questions, trying to get him to talk and tell me what he liked. FOr example, I had a porno in and made him watch it while I was performing orally on him. HE could not look at me and he had to stand in a position that was awkward to see the movie as well. If I caught him looking, I would smack his butt, not too hard, but not too soft either. I asked him did he like the film and he would respond, but I wanted details, ie; what is she doing that you like? Then I would call him a dirty boy lol!

I took him upstairs and tied him up, sat on his face, but only periodically. It drove him crazy because he wanted it all,but I wanted him to know that I was in control. Let's just say that he had 2 very miserable hours that enhanced his orgasm and mine. Power exchanges are fun, they don't have to go as far as BDSM, but who doesn't want to give up control to a strong, passionate lover?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 12:20pm
Welcome back to the board jerseygyrl. I see that you have been away for some time.








iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 2:53pm
Thanks so much! It's a nice way to connect and learn and share. I am usually in LDR/IR but I dropped by today to LTAS to see what was happening.