Taking Matters Into Own Hands

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Taking Matters Into Own Hands
3
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 2:12am

That's so odd. I just submitted yet I don't see my posting.

Well, anyway, what I asked was how a woman can take care of the pain of first-time intercourse before the actual act happens? Is there something she can do at home? As a second choice, there is going to the doctor's office, but I don't think that is necessary.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 9:31am

You're anticipating pain with first time intercourse and pain doesn't have to happen.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 10:55am

I agree with Tish. Do not "assume" that it will be painful, because in 95% of women, if both you and your partner know what you're doing, and understand how the female body works, it should NOT be painful, and it won't be painful.

Your vagina will stretch to accomodate all but the most monstrous penis once you're properly aroused and relaxed, as well as being well lubricated. You can't "stretch" it in advance, because it's a muscle that is always tight, until the proper things are done to make it relax. You could "practice" in advance, but no matter how much you get it to stretch, as soon as you're done, it's going to get tight again. It relaxes when it needs to, and it gets tight again when you're done.

There are rare cases of a tough hymen, that might need to be seen by a doctor, but most women don't have one by the time they become sexually active.

It is a GOOD idea to see an ob/gyn on an annual basis when you become 18, or when you become sexually active. If you wait till you have a problem, it's hard to get in to see a doctor that you've never seen before, and it's good that they know you when everything is fine, so they know what to look for. Also, if you're going to be sexually active, you should look into various methods of birth control, since condoms are only about 89% effective in preventing pregnancy. Your doctor can advise and explain the various kinds of b/c.

Check out www.the-clitoris.com so that you can learn about how your body works, and what's necessary for successful sexual activity. Read about foreplay, and why it's necessary.

First time sex shouldn't be painful if both of you know and understand what it's all about. It's also best to have some lubricant handy, because first timers are nervous, even if they have enough foreplay, they might be dry, which also causes pain.

If you decide to sky-dive, you don't just find a parachute and jump out of a plane. You need to understand how everything works. It's the same with sex. Knowledge is power, and prevents lots of problems.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 12:24pm

Some women will experience pain and bleeding, as I did, and many won't. Of all my friends, I was the only one who had pain. It's not as common as you may think.

And using a dildo to open up or remove your hymen and experience penetration, before your first time with your partner, is the only way to simulate or experience intercourse. However, "going to the dr.", as you mentioned, would only remove the hymen which won't solve the penetration question.

When you're fully aroused, your vagina opens up to form a tube but when you aren't, the front and back walls collapse in on themselves. This is why it's very important that you are fully aroused and lubricated to prevent any discomfort.

IF you prepare for the likely possibility of nerves, lack of lubrication and spending adequate time in foreplay, then you can alleviate or completely remove the possibility of pain.




Edited 4/6/2005 12:36 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001