Talking about sex.......
Find a Conversation
Talking about sex.......
| Thu, 09-15-2005 - 1:01am |
I guess I'll post this since I mentioned it in my other post.......
I'll try and keep this as short as possible.
| Thu, 09-15-2005 - 1:01am |
I guess I'll post this since I mentioned it in my other post.......
I'll try and keep this as short as possible.
>>I mean.......I don't just want to slap him in the face with it. That would be drastic and a big change.<<
OK, I'd better start by explaining that I'm a "grab the bull by the horns" type of girl. Raising it all at one time is exactly how I'd do it. It's like getting into a pool - better to dive in and get it over with than prolong the agony. Besides, sometimes a big change is better than constantly making small changes.....because you don't have to keep thinking about how to make the next change.
If I were you, I'd discuss what happened in the past and explain how you feel it's impacting on your present communication. Perhaps say that you'd like to be able to discuss sex and ideas to improve your sex lives - but don't know where to begin. Then ask him how he feels about it.
I'm with Aisha on this, I'm also a take the bull by the horns type of person and if I want something, I ask for it.
I agree with the others.....just open a conversation. Don't do it in the middle of sex...do it in the livingroom when you're both relaxed, the kids are in bed, etc.
Just open up by saying "you know, I've been thinking, we never talk about sex! I'm sure there are some things that you think about but never mention, and there ARE things that I think about but never mention. Tell me something you'd like to try, or want me to do for you!" Hopefully, that will start the conversation rolling!
Do you communicate about anything? Or do you just let life happen? If you do have good communication, then sex shouldn't be any different than the budget, or where you'll take your next vacation.
I think it can be difficult to change any habit or routine, that's not unusual since everyone is a little afraid of the possible reaction of a partner, criticism or judgement.
But have you considered buying an erotic book and reading passages from it to your hubby? That way, you can comment on the things that interest you and visa versa? Just another way of bringing things up that may be difficult for you to do on your own.
Once you get used to doing that, then you should become able to have more spontaneous and open conversations on your own. Just something I've used myself in the past.
Edited 9/15/2005 10:23 am ET ET by katmandoo2001