Talking Dirty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Talking Dirty
3
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 9:00am
I love it when my boyfriend talks dirty. I would love to send him sassy little text messages during the day or leave dirty voice mails but unless we are having sex I feel a little weird talking dirty. I will be away from him for 4 days soon and I want to suggest phone sex but again I dont know that I can get over the weird feeling when Im not having sex... any text ideas or ways to get over my slight fear???
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
In reply to: collette85
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 11:07am

One of the most dificult things to do is get over our own hang-ups. We all have them. Recognize that they are simply hang-ups and not major character flaws.

Some times the answer is to just do it. My suggestion would be to come up with (as you described it) something sassy but not too over the top. See how your man reacts. If he likes it (my guess is that he really will) then expand to more racy little texts and notes.

One step at a time and you will find that your comfort level with this whole thing goes up. Just remember to be yourself - if you have had the thought then express it. I'm in trouble in my relationship because I held back and didn't express myself - learn from my mistake and go for it.

Good Luck!

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: collette85
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 1:44pm

First, put this in perspective...will slight fear or feeling "a little weird" kill you? No. If you don't do this, will it ruin your life? Obviously, not. So, don't magnify any act or action beyond it's reality.

Do we ever feel completely comfortable the first time we do anything? No. So, the only way to begin feeling comfortable about doing anything the first time is to just grit your teeth and go through the discomfort. It won't kill you, really.

So, if you would love to text a dirty message to your BF, or suggest phone sex, do it. You have to take the first step before you can get comfortable with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
In reply to: collette85
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 1:47pm
What if you tried some vague talk to get it started...then, chances are he'll respond and you will gain confidence and get "dirtier" as the texts go on. At least, it works for me. Somehow in the middle of a hectic day about the last thing on MY mind is sex, but I know it's probably the first thing on DH's, and he loves that I take charge like that. Little does he know...it's me putting out feelers and him taking charge, but whaterver works!

 

 

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting