on talking, pic trade & dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
on talking, pic trade & dating
16
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 12:18pm
Hello!
I have a question on who is going how far?
Does the majority just do sex talk and dirty talking in chat rooms & via private messengers (because of privacy) or are the more people who enjoy also pic trading and visual stimulation. In my opinion it's very hard to find people who are interested in serious (also in an inspiring & arousing manner) talking besides foto trading with messengers like MSN or ICQ. But recently I made a good eperiences with nudity communities like NewbieNudes:
http://www.newbienudes.com/?ref=z383007
I experienced when messaging there to the people with the right spirit you can even start fruitful dialogues about non-sex related topics. And the spirit of a person in this community one can estimate from the style of her/his/their (nude) photos. Who made similar experiences?
And are there people who have even gone further and dated sex talk buddies? This is something I haven't done so far. I'd be happy of your experiences and feelings on this topic. Thanks.

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 1:48pm

I'm married so I'm not involved in these types of activities or websites, but I would imagine most people who ARE, frequent them as entertainment only, not as a means of meeting friends or lovers....in the flesh.

I would think if you're looking for more arousing, substantial or meaningful conversation and friendship, you'd look in a place LESS dedicated to the physical.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 3:36pm
I see no point in going into chatrooms or IMing with strangers about sex. I avoid certain systems of chat rooms because the only people there are perverts who WANT to talk to strangers about sex, and look at each other naked on web cams! That's sick!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 3:50pm
Well unlike the last to posts. DW and I have found trading pictures to be very exciting. We have gone as far as asking what the other couple wants to see and then taken a pic or so and sent them. Seeing people naked is really exciting for me personally. I think seeing others getting aroused is exciting. We are looking for people (couples) who want to trade pics and PM.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 4:04pm

You can also find what you're looking for at Yahoo chat, although occasionally you'll hear someone having an orgasm if you have your speakers on. Yahoo also has voice chat with optional hands-free chatting and audio/video chat if you have a webcam.

http://chat.yahoo.com/

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 4:02am

>>because the only people there are perverts who WANT to talk to strangers about sex, and look at each other naked on web cams! That's sick!<<

Are you feeling alright? You seem to have a very negative opinion about this compared to your usual advice? ;-)

My thoughts on it? One would have to assume that the only people on these chatrooms are like-minded individuals that want to share conversations or pictures. So I'm not entirely sure that a person can be a pervert if you are indulging in a legal and relatively vanilla activity with like-minded people. It's not like innocent and naieve people stumble into these sites, you know? Is it sick? Well, there are plenty of other things in the world that I would consider to be *sicker*. After-all, these are consenting adults that happen to find this activity arousing. I would hardly call it sick, but that's only my opinion.

I don't do it, although I admit that I have browsed some sites where pics are posted for others to see. Like many other sexual activities, it's the old case of diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. It seems harmless enough.

Someone mentioned that there are other places to have non-sex related conversations though, and I would agree with that. Why go to sex-chat site and expect non-sexual conversations?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 8:16am

I agree with the last post if your view is people that use chat rooms are "perverts who WANT to talk to strangers about sex" then what are you doing reading/writing messages on the LETS TALK ABOUT SEX message board?

Personally I think its good clean fun cybering with someone you don't know and its a good way to find out about other peoples sex lives and meet people.

Zipp

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 9:38am

Mea Culpa! I should have qualified that with "in my opinion". The chat rooms I was referring to are NOT sex related (they're age-specific), but if you go to them, within a few minutes, you will get dozens of IM's from males and females with explicit sexual messages. A few times, out of curiousity, I'd reply to one that didn't sound like it was about sex, and for a few minutes, it wouldn't be. A seemingly "normal" friendly person who would ask normal questions, age, location, etc. But every time, within a few minutes, out of the blue there would be a question like "do you like big....?" Or, "does your husband satisfy you?" Not my idea of a group of senior citizens in a chat room. Another poster mentioned the site of these chat rooms.

If I wanted to talk about things like that, I would go to a site that was about that. Then I would expect that kind of questions. What if I was a young teen? Granted, teens don't belong in a senior citizens's chat room either, but they are there.

This would be no different than meeting a group of people in person....a group that you thought was interested in age related issues, and all of a sudden, they all took their clothes off. If I wanted to meet a bunch of nudists, I'd go to a nudist's meeting! It's no different than a stranger approaching you on the street to ask personal and/or sexual questions. If that happened, the person could be arrested for sexual imposition, but on the internet it seems anything goes.

I just don't like that type of thing when it's unsolicited. If the OP enjoys that sort of thing, it's his choice, but I felt the post was really a solicitation for that kind of activity, and I don't think this is the place for it. I just will never understand what kind of pleasure someone gets out of virtual sex, or how anyone can get their "jollies" by doing it. But then, it's my opinion, and I'm entitled to it!

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 11:00am

IF you're soliciting that kind of interaction, that's fine, you're not going to be caught unawares. But I think Dakine is talking about a non-sexual conversation on a nonsexual site suddenly turning lewd and sexual. That happens alot, too and it's a turnoff.

But THIS is an informational opinion board only....none of us are here to solicit pictures or cybersex. Try doing that and your post will be pulled.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 6:38pm
Ah, fair enough. It would be very disconcerting in a non-sex related chatroom to have that happen. You can appreciate my position. I'm a guy and I guess that it would be a rare and unusual thing for a guy to be IM'd in that way. I miss out on all that. When I go to non-sex related chatrooms that's what I get - non-sex related chat ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 6:33am

A woman about a thousand miles away contacted me for cyber sex. I responed to her e-mail, and eventually we IM'd. From the start, it was mostly sexual. I'm divorced with no partner. She's in a stagnant marriage. We did, on occasion, talk about non-sexual issues, but the intent was cyber sex.

Unlike dakine's concerns, we were in it for sex from the beginning. It was very enjoyable, with both of us getting aroused. For me, it's been as close to having a partner as I've had in quite awhile. It did, on some level, fill an emotional need for a very emotionally starved men.

I've backed off from the IM'ing for the past month or two, not because she didn't arouse me, but because my own sexuality has been in a state of flux since my divorce was final recently. I haven't been feeling that I could give her the satisfaction she needed from our exchanges. Let's just say that my self-esteem hasn't been very high lately.

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