Tantric sex ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tantric sex ?
7
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 4:39pm

My bf and I were talking about that penis site and the clitoris site (that you guys recommended) and honestly they were really interesting.

Anywho he mentioned "tantric sex". I'm familiar with it a BIT because I've heavily been into Yoga and I always hear about how it improves tantrix sex and all that. I knew he was experimental with positions, the way I am, but I didn't know he'd like to get into that! I was quite surprised...in a good way. :o)

Any info you guys can spare on tantrix sex and any sites you know would be helpful in learning about it?

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: poptart_19
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 5:05pm

i teach classes in tantra, and i want to throw out there that "tantric sex" is not really the goal. it's really about deep, spiritual experience. the goal is to make everything a "tantric experience" and sex is only another part of that. i recommend studying tantra for what it is, rather than looking for a guide to sexual positions. but, in tantra--in the esoteric stuff--men work on sustaining erections and having multiple orgasms (most without ejaculation). the book The MultiOrgasmic Man is a great resource for learning about this. again, tantra as a spiritual practice is not a part of this, but this practice can be a part of tantra.

many of the books out there that are marked as "tantric sex" are more about sex than tantra. But, the idea is to make sex into tantra rather than work toward tantric sex--do you see what i mean?

hope this helps! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
In reply to: poptart_19
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 6:04pm

I was going to say pretty much the same thing as zoebird. Tantra is a path that really embraces everything in life and sex happens to be one of them as it is part of our human experience. The Taoists too have a similar approach to sex as a tool for spiritual growth.

Peace.
Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: poptart_19
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 6:07pm

I agree with zoebird being dead on about the essence of tantrics being more spiritual than physical. The Mrs. & I use tantric methods just to enjoy that spiritual connection between us prior to the climatic physical part of sex.

As far as where to learn more about this, I myself have pretty much picked up on the 'basics' of it with help from Dr. Patti Britton. Perhaps you could do a web search for her and find for yourself would what be more beneficial for you.

Here's a few of IVillage's own links about it all:

Why You Should Learn Tantric Sex
http://magazines.ivillage.com/marieclaire/mind/health/articles/0,,434735_437772,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=3

Tantric Sex
http://www.women.com/dating/big/articles/0,,537210_537419,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=3

The Secret to Tantric Sex
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/sex/no/articles/0,,166919_285753,00.html

Hope all this helps. :)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
In reply to: poptart_19
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 6:51pm

Thanks for the links but I was reading the one on the marie claire site and I don't think things like this would work

>>>Create a sacred space for lovemaking
Transform your bedroom. Awaken your senses with flowers, aromatherapy oils, scented candles, fresh fruits and chocolates. Include sensual fabrics like silk -- whether it's your sheets or your lingerie.<<<

Okay maybe this is just me but..

Flowers=Yuck, they remind me of funeral homes. I only like daisies because I think they're friendly
Aromatherapy oils=The sheets are gonna get ruined and we both don't like the idea of being OILY.
Candles=Don't find those romantic at all, don't ask why.
fresh fruits=My bf hates fruit, I love fruit but I'll forget about the sex and get full on grapes and pineapple :o)
chocolates=I KNOW we'll forget about sex and just eat all the chocolate and end up watching sportscentre or something.

sensual fabrics..i have a babydoll pj made of silk which I know he wants me to wear which I will do but I'm saving it for our new years trip together.

I'm not very...romantic..I mean if he did pull out those kinds of things to get me in the mood, they wouldn't. But I'd just be like "OMG that is the cutest thing in the world , I love you..." and that would prolly lead to us making out n stuff lol...but is that what's supposed to happen if your in a tantric kinda mood? lol I think I'm missing the point. I'm really not a romantic person and neither is my bf...I personally think a lot of it is corny and fake. I'd appreciate it don't get me wrong, but it wouldn't turn me on or anything.

Any alternatives to these things???

I know I'm weird. But my bf knows I'm like this lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: poptart_19
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 7:26pm

>>I'm not very...romantic..I mean if he did pull out those kinds of things to get me in the mood, they wouldn't. But I'd just be like "OMG that is the cutest thing in the world , I love you..." and that would prolly lead to us making out n stuff lol<<

And you say that you aren't romantic? :-) You don't have to like the romantic frilly stuff for it to get you into a romantic and lovey mood...

Just FYI: Aromatherapy oils are the ones that you put into those little candle powered oil burners. The oils evapourate and give off the aromas. You can put them in to massage oils to give the oil a scent but you don't usually apply aromatherapy oils directly to the skin.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
In reply to: poptart_19
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 10:05pm

>>Just FYI: Aromatherapy oils are the ones that you put into those little candle powered oil burners. The oils evapourate and give off the aromas. You can put them in to massage oils to give the oil a scent but you don't usually apply aromatherapy oils directly to the skin.<<

I beg to differ! At the body shop there are aromatherapy lines...ylang ylang, bergamot, peppermint and lavender...they have massage oils in those scents. That's what I thought was meant by those...

Also...my bf hates burning scents though anyways lol...I work at a body shop and I pretty much own everything in the store; like their aroma jars where you burn home fragrance oils. There's essential oils you can burn too. I guess that's what you meant, it seems like the same idea.

But really I swear I'm not romantic at all. I crack jokes at romantic moments n stuff. LOL. I like doing little things though. Like writing him i love you notes and leaving them in his books or under his pillow. But when it comes to all the flowers, and all that...not my style.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: poptart_19
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 5:54pm

i think ya missed the point. The real point is to make a place sacred, to make sex a sacred act. For many people, part of this means making the place look in a certain way. can you imagine having sex in a church? it's not sacrilidge in the tantric sense, it's simply recognizing the worshipful element of sex--that sacred and holy.

my husband and i have a yoga/meditation room. that room is one of the most sacred spaces in our home. we meditate there together and alone; we practice yoga there; we practice thai yoga massage there. i also teach private clients in there. It's a fairly simple space. there is a small bookshelf with books, small meditative items (like a buddha figurine, a ganeshe figurine, and a radha/krishna figurine), a bouquet of flowers, a place for offering, and a lot of props in the prop closet: yoga mats, blocks, straps, eye bags, thai yoga massage mats, pillows, meditation cushions, etc. we also have our own private stash of props: our own thai yoga massage futon, our own pillows, silky fabrics for blankets, sheets, etc.

for us, simply setting up "our" mat (instead of the one for clients) is a big turn on for us. My husband gets an entire treatment of aroma therapy (we use a diffuser), thai yoga massage, and lots of cuddling and kisses. This may lead to sex, it may not. But, it's an opportunity for us to worship each other. We often take a shower too, or at least bathe each other with some soft cloths and rose water (rose essential oil in water).

but, the point isn't what the place looks like, it's the perspective that you take to the action that you're going to do. It's the worshipful practice of sex, the deep interconnecting of spiritual beings with their physical bodies. this is how tantra works. the rest is just to make it special--but the point is that it is deeply spiritual practice.