teen girls don't like sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
teen girls don't like sex?
22
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 10:55pm

I was watching Dr Phil today, and he had a woman on who worked as a counsellor in a teen crisis centre.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 11:02pm
Guess I was in the 99% during most of my teen years. I did it to keep the BF interested, because it was the next logical step (or so it seemed at the time) and because I didn't know how to say no once it got to a certain point in the making out/fondling. Not that there were tons of guys, lol, even now my total 'number' is 6, but I got nothing out of it in most of my sexual encounters.

I think it's probably true today too. Most of these today girls are giving BJs because it's a so-called safe way of making a guy happy and being considered 'hot'. But it's not reciprocated by the guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 11:13pm

I was sexually active at 15, and I loved it.

  

   who_reallyknows

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 1:06am
I can't even comment because I wasn't sexually active as a teen.....

I'm thinking that the fact that she's counselling troubled teens, that those stats would fit the group of girls she's dealing with, but NOT teen agers in general.

I'm thinking that lots of girls are sexually active because they think that's how you get and keep a boyfriend, and those are the ones who will end up in counselling.

There was a small piece in my newspaper about the fact that teen agers (male and female) are active much earlier these days because of TV, and the fact that the programs popular with teens, such as "Friends", nearly every episode has to do with sex in some way. They get the idea that sex is a much larger part of everyday life than it really is, and they think THAT is reality. I know TV is blamed for a lot of things, and in many cases, things like violence....they know the difference, but maybe it is a bad influence when it comes to sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 2:22am

>>I'm thinking that the fact that she's counselling troubled teens, that those stats would fit the group of girls she's dealing with, but NOT teen agers in general. I'm thinking that lots of girls are sexually active because they think that's how you get and keep a boyfriend, and those are the ones who will end up in counselling. <<

Yep, I

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 3:36am
I'm a teenager (18) and not entirely sexually active, meaning have yet to have intercourse, but I very much so enjoy every aspect of what I do. I've been with my bf going on 3 years and it's not a regular thing to partake in, but we both enjoy the closeness of the cuddling and plus the release is always a good thing. We've never done anything because it was the next step, nor do I blame anything on the TV shows I've watched as I've grown up. I think the major problem with our society when it comes to sexually active teenagers is the inability of the conservative mind to believe that, even without TV, there will always be curiousity and I find it completely bogus that the only form of sex ed is the 'your body is changing' video shown to 4th graders and the giving birth video shown in 8th that, when asking any teenage male, without fail, they will tell you scarred them for life. It's rediculous that in order to teach abstinence, we must scar our children. Granted, if they hand out free condoms, they'd be blown up and strewn about school, but that happens anyway. Plus, if given the proper education, 9 out of 10 teenagers would take more responsibility (we're more intelligent than too many people think we are). The rumors that float through high schools, and now down into junior high schools, lend a false sense of security that is easily avoided. Sadly the 'health' classes in high school have become anti-drug, anti-cigarette, and oh, if you touch a boy 'down there', you might get an STD, so DON'T, and kids like me who floated through high school are able to take the class at home and are given an answer booklet to copy from. Sorry, got a little carried away, but it's a load of crap to blame it on TV when the schools who supposedly 'teach' us are doing a crappy job of doing so in the first place...


Edited 9/13/2004 3:39 am ET ET by srewopsixa
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 7:48am
I would say those stats are also based on the troubled teen girls she works with.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 9:07am
I think that her "stats" are bunk. I don't have a lot of appreciation for Dr Phill and I would not think that he would be very rigorous in ensuring the factuality of the rhetoric that his guests espouse. 99% sounds like the sort of off-the-cuff made up statement that people say in arguments to sound more authoritative. I would bet that she did not do a formal study, and I would bet that she is not quoting anyone elses study, she just made it up. And, as has been pointed out, her group is not exactly a representative cross section. Of course troubled teens are more likely to be troubled about sex and therefore will be less likely to enjoy it.

I think the idea that teenage girls don't like sex stems from the fact that they are being compared to teenage boys. No group of people could favourably withstand such a comparison. lol. When I was fourteen I would get a raging erection if a girl bent down to pick up a pensil, and I would spend the next 40 minutes or so trying to keep it tucked into my waistband.

>>There was a small piece in my newspaper about the fact that teen agers (male and female) are active much earlier these days because of TV<<

I saw this on the news too and it made me really angry. You know what the best thing I could think of to do for sex ed? Replace calculus with statistics as the mandatory pre university math course. Who needs calculus? Some engineers and physicists and ecological modelers. Everbody is bombarded by statistics and studies and surveys nearly every day of their lives. This topic is no exception, and if you don't know a little bit about statistics then you might buy into the conclusions that the media is trying to sell you based on this study. The media, as usual, is sensationalizing a complex issue just to sell commersials. If they tried to qualify their statements as they should, then they would lose the lowest common denominator and we wouldn't want that. The problem is one of causation vs correlation. Teens that watch more sex on tv tend to have more sex. That DOES NOT mean that tv causes the sex. I'll bet that teens who like sex a lot, tend to watch more sex on tv. That point alone means that the study cannot prove causation. There is also a strong correlation between disfunctional families, poverty, disadvantaged racial background, single parent household etc on BOTH tv watching AND teenage sex. So it is wrong to say that TV causes teenage sex, when it is also true that teenage sexuality causes them to watch more sex on tv and some causal factors cause both sex and tv watching. Too bad that doesn't make a good sound bite.


<< Getting married at 17 wasn't unusual back then - so why are people investigating teen sex now as if it's something new?>> - did some research on this for and found out that in New England in the 18th century something like 20% of girls were pregnant when they got married! lol. So much for the good old days.

-phat,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 10:04am
had sex at 16 with a boyfriend of a few months because I wanted HIM, not because it's what he wanted. my girl friends would say the same thing.

a relative joke...

A young Italian girl was going on a date.

Her nonna ( Grandmother ) said: "Sit here and let me tell you aboutta thosa young boys.

He is gonna to try and kiss you, you are gonna lika that, but don't let him do that.

He is gonna to try and feel you, you are gonna to lika that, but don't let him do that.

But most important, he is gonna to try and get on top of you to have hisa way with you.

You are gonna like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.

The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted:

"Nonna, I didn't let him disgrace the family.

When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family!"

Nonna fainted !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 10:20am
<<>>

i was like that too, but no one could tell that i was horny. if a guy i was attracted to whispered in my ear, or even smiled at me, i'd get this PANG, straight down through to my vagina. i feel for you guys because if my arousal was visible, i'd have to stay home!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 3:06pm
Ooooooh shame on me for not reading all of the replies yet, LOL, but I still have a thought or two anyway.

Yas, I TOTALLY agree with your confusion on this. Again, I'm only replying to your post #1 here. I'm not really surprised at all that a counselor from a teen crisis centre of all places would actually get that 99% number, LOL! When you really think about it...well...

With the girls THESE days that actually the guys, compared to what I remember in the past anyway, that 99% DOES seem to be a bit dramatic. MANY reports about peer pressure and the acceptance of it all and you name it, right? Right.

the number of times that girls either leave or actually cheat on their so-called boyfriends because the sex wasn't satisfying too. This isn't just from what was posted here on ivillage, LOL, no no no no no, this is what is CONSTANTLY reported by so many boys on other message boards on the internet too. In fact, quite a few times, surprisingly, these boys claim that they think about surgery or pills to have bigger erections and longer lasting ones and this and that just because their girlfriends dumped them for those "inadequate" reasons. Its really amazing to read what these boys are writing these days. Its totally not the story that we read so often from right here anyway.

I'll check out the other replies some more. These were just a couple of thoughts I had though. No matter what, one group of people will HOPEFULLY not be viewed as the consensus for all by anyone, but to each their own. ;)

Nice post.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

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