Tender vs. Rougher Sex
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| Wed, 06-16-2004 - 2:54pm |
This new guy, well, he is rougher. He took my clothes off for me sooner than I could say go and seemed so excited to have sex that he started fingering me and giving me oral sex right away with barely any kissing and carressing, which is what I need to get aroused properly. I told him that I am not used to this kind of lovemaking style and asked him to be more gentle as he seems to have a rough touch with his mouth and hands, but I don't think he understands. The sex was good I must admit because it was very intense and spontaneous, and he is more assertive in bed than my previous boyfriends but the foreplay was too rough and brief for my liking. He also likes to bite playfully, which is not my thing.
How do I train him, so to speak, to make love to me the way I enjoy it without insulting him? I told him it is different that what I am used to and that every woman is different but he said that he was actually trying to be more gentle than he usually is. He's also more experienced and older than my previous lovers. I'm curious to know whether most women find this lovemaking style enjoyable or do most of them enjoy the slow, gentle kind. I would think it is the latter but I may be wrong. Would demonstrating what I like on him be a good idea? Plus, how do I make him calm down when he is around me and not get so excited about getting straight to the sex? I have no problem telling my lovers exactly what I like so that is not the problem. I just don't want to insult him in the process since he seems pretty confident that what he is doing is sure to turn me on. Any help would be appreciated.
Edited 6/16/2004 2:57 pm ET ET by lorlene

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To Tiana Rose, I did give him a massage after the two times we had sex that night and he enjoyed it very much. He was so relaxed that he could not move but he is a very hyperactive person so he regained his energy quickly. I will try giving it to him prior to the sex next time. Sure, I will keep you posted on new developments. Thanks again for all the advice.
Edited 6/17/2004 7:16 am ET ET by lorlene
Edited 6/22/2004 1:36 pm ET ET by tiana_rose
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