Is there any connection?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Is there any connection?
4
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 5:13pm
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and it has been wonderful. We were both very conservative and waited a good 6 months before doing any sexual activity. In the beginning, we had certain places we would go so it would be private and where I could totally let go. We both felt very uncomfortable at his house or at my house. In these certain places, I would make all the noises I wanted however loud I wanted. It was great, and I ejaculated EVERYWHERE. Now, we get intimate at his house and I hardly ejactulate at all, even at all. The only times are after I have something to drink (alcoholic). It's depressing. I don't know why this is happening. It still feels amazing, I just can't get off. I can only guess that it's because I'm having to keep quiet or at least not really be able to completely let myself go. Can anyone help me out?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 6:06pm

Not sure how anyone can help other than by offering you a private place to have sex with your BF? I think a lack of privacy would affect MOST people to some degree.

So, yes, there's bound to be a connection. I can't say as I blame you for not being totally at ease if you're afraid of being walked in on or overheard in the middle of sex! Unless one is completely exhibitionistic in nature, that's not something too many women would enjoy.

I think what you're experiencing is exactly what you said yourself....you're too inhibited by the circumstances to fully let go and enjoy sex. But, why can't you just continue using those private places you used to go to?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 8:42pm
I was in the same spot as you were going through... just do not be ashame of what you and your boyfriend are doing... just go to your own room or his with tv little loud or radio... that way your families will know that you are watching movie or listen to radio in the room instead not knowing that you really doing sex while doing those noises... I always go out for a drive to country road and park somewhere and had sex out their in the car or outside with blanket on the road... (in the dark not day time - if your lucky) other than that... just go where you usally do... Try do it while your parents are not home like they are at work, date, etc... I am very good at it... until i found out i am pregnant and told my parents and they accept who i am and I am old enough to make my own decision and life too...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2006
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 8:46pm
I had the same problem. But I found that when I decided to switch to dating girls, it went away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 12:59pm

thanks everyone, yall were very helpful. actually we do have the tv on and the radio on, but i can be very loud. its just not safe. lol. and the reason why we dont really go anywhere is because we are too lazy and it has just grown on us to be at home. anyways, thanks again...

ps... thanks for the input about the 'dating girls' thing... but i like my man way too much. hehe.