Is there something wrong with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Is there something wrong with me?
2
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 10:06pm
Hi there, I hope someone out there can give me some advice, because it's driving me nuts.

I'm 25 years old and still a virgin. Not that I haven't had ample opportunity to have sex, I just never have.

I can honestly say in every relationship so far, I have never felt that "spark" with someone. I just got out of a 7 month relationship, and I just was never turned on with him in a sexual or intimate manner. I wasn't all for him from the very start.

Then I've been in relationships, quite a few actually, where the guy made it very clear from the get go that all he wanted was sex. I lived with two girls in college who absolutely took things to the extreme and just had sex with any guy at any time. I just didn't like the way they acted.

So maybe it's just that I've been very unlucky with not meeting someone who clicks with me. Then again, maybe it's me. I have no idea!

Can anyone out there help me out a bit? I'm starting to feel borderline freakish.

Thanks!

T

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 10:57pm
There's certainly NOTHING wrong (or freakish) with being a virgin at 25! It just shows you have some discrimination. You're right.....better to wait for the right person, and that "spark", than be like your roommates.....and take on any guy that asks.

If and when you decide to do it, it'll be your decision, not something you did to "hold on" to the guy, or just because "everyone" else does it.

The right guy will come along eventually......just be patient. He might not be the guy you'll end up with, but it'll be for the right reason, because you WANT to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 6:00am
I assume that you're a fairly normal person in that you feel that you have a normal libido and have normal sexual desires and interest like everyone-else. It just sounds like due to a combination of circumstances that you just haven't found a guy that you like enough to have sex with.

Nothing wrong with that and certainly nothing wrong with being a bit choosey and waiting for someone that you feel you can have 'meaningful' sex with.

One of your comments did stand out for me:

>>...quite a few actually, where the guy made it very clear from the get go that all he wanted was sex.<<

I think that most guys your age in this social climate would expect to have sex from the start of the relationship. Maybe that's NOT all they wanted. There will be some that expect sex wtihout attachment but many guys would like immediate sex AND a relationship. Nothing particularly wrong with that either. I don't think that it's something that you should worry too much about. If you want to wait to have sex, then wait. If a guy really likes you he will wait - certainly for a few months anyway.

Don't worry about it. Someone will come along eventually and you'll find that the two of you just click so well that you can't wait to see what he's like in bed.