Is there such a thing as too big??
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Is there such a thing as too big??
| Tue, 10-18-2005 - 8:24pm |
Every time I have sex with my fiancee it feels like his penis is just too big for me. It is uncomfortable but not really painful. I have no problem with getting aroused and lubricated so that is not the issue. I feel guilty because I almost always tell him no when he wants to have intercourse because it doesn't feel good. As a result our sex life is really non existent. I don't know what to do, but I want to be able to enjoy sex and for our sex life to be better. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

Well, I suppose that it is quite possible that he is too big for you.
One thing that usually helps is to spend more time on foreplay so that you are VERY aroused and lubricated and have had ample time to get relaxed. You might get aroused and wet fast, but the longer you delay intercourse the more relaxed and prepared you body will get. This is probably the best tip that anyone can give you - the more time you spend on foreplay the better.
You might want to examine his technique too - it's possible that he could be more gentle and/or reduce the forcefulness of his thrusts. That might help a little.
You might want to try different positions too. There are some where he will penetrate deeply and probably uncomfortably and there are others where the penetration will be more shallow and hopefully more comfortable.
You might want to try using some more lube too - not because you aren't naturally lubricated, but because the bottled stuff might make it just a little more slippery.
I agree with Westridge. You may think you're aroused and well lubricated, but maybe it's not enough. If you're nervous about it being painful, that in itself will stop you from relaxing and lubricating enough. You need to try what he suggested.....longer foreplay, and added lubrication.
You also need to figure out why it's uncomfortable (aside from the possibility of tight vaginal muscles and not enough lubrication). Is he going to deep or thrusting too hard?
A change of position can alleviate the depth, and he can slow down for you.
Also, if you never had intercourse again, there is no reason that your sex life would have to be nonexistant. There are plenty of other things that you can both do for each other that are just as pleasure producing as intercourse is. Maybe that's what you should focus on for a while, and not worry about intercourse. If the pressure is off you, it might help you relax more.
PS: Unless your husband is HUMUNGOUS, vaginal muscles can stretch to accomodate most men. It can stretch enough to allow an 8 or 9 pound baby to pass thru it, and I'm sure your husband isn't THAT big!
Edited 10/18/2005 11:36 pm ET by dakine001
Edited 10/19/2005 12:45 am ET by katmandoo2001