thinking about anal, help!!!
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| Thu, 06-14-2007 - 3:14pm |
Hi, I am new to this board and looking for some answers...
I am in the on again off again Affair. Anyways, me and my AP have discussed having anal, which I am totally down for with him (not w/H). Here is my issue.. I am scared to death to do it.. Yes I have 2 kisds of my own, and that hurt enough, I am really affraid of the pain I may have with anal. I am serious about trying it with my AP, I even bought Astroglide lubricant which a friend of mine said is the best thing that he and his fiance have ever use.. I gave this to my AP last week and told him that this is for the time we finally have it. My AP drives me sexually crazy.. I think about our time together constantly and am ready for sex anytime we are able to get away. He pleases me physically, mentally and emotionally and I do the same for him.
Back on track.. I want anal but not sure how to go about this.. I have not asked AP if he has had anal with anyone else before as I feel this is something I am not sure I want to know..SO what is the best position to do it? How can we prepare myself for his insertion?
He is big in length and width so I am a bit affraid of the pain. Please someone help me out here.....
thanks
PolishPrincess

Welcome to the board polishpricess.
The key to avoiding pain during anal sex is to be relaxed. Being highly aroused and desiring the act will also be helpful. Your guy needs to be patient, sure you are ready and willing to take things slowly. If there is pain, you should stop as something is wrong.
Here are some articles that you might find helpful:
Adventurous Intimacy: 6 Do's and Don'ts of Anal Sex
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,b31g,00.html
I want to try anal sex
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638358_602026,00.html
my partner in the siggy exchange
Hiya There,
I'm new here to but I thought I'd chime in. I personally think that the first thing anyone should do before venturing in a new sex act is to have a safe word. This is a thing that a lot of Dom/subs use to prevent "doing to far". Pick a word other then stop, no ect that you and he both understand means "THAT'S HURTS PLEASE STOP". A lot of times in sex I find saying things like "no" and putting up a fight fun.
You and he need to feel totally safe with each other and you need to trust that he will stop if you say so. Use a ton of the Astroglide (I prefer the lub they sell in sex shops...and the looks I get buying it hehehehe) and be secure in yourself. I found the easiest trasition is to go from Doggie style i/c to anal. Make sure he goes slow and lets YOU MOVE, NOT HIM. that way you are in control of the penitration (sp again) if you are scared about his size.
My last little tid bit STOP PSYING YOURSELF OUT. As was posted you need to be relaxed, I find it is easier after I get the "O", your muscles are relaxed and you won't be as frantic.
Good Luck,
Broken.
ps- if it's done right you'll LOVE IT!!!
Another thing that may help a little is to have a drink or two. Don't get drunk, get relaxed. Have a sensual bath beforehand, candles and all. Have a few orgasms. Get into a completely blissful state.
As to the act itself, don't start with a penis. Start small and work up. Most advice neglects this concept. Get a small buttplug or use fingers. Get used to the sensations with those. Once you can accomodate them, move up. Add a finger or get a bigger plug. Keep doing this until you get to the size of the penis in question. Take your time. If you can't get past a certain size or you never feel comfortable, don't do anal. Simple as that. You weren't meant to do it and if your SO can't accept that, too bad.
Lubes should be either real thick water-based or silicone-based. You want the lube to go there and stay there. Use a bunch, then add more. You can NEVER have too much lube when doing anal play. Condoms are essential since it makes cleanup a snap. Remember where you are playing and that sh*t happens.
Just remember, if done right there should be no pain. If there is stop immediately and back up a few steps.
Good luck!
They are so right about pain .. it shouldn't hurt much and if you are really ready for it you shouldn't bleed at all.
One thing that they miss a lot on the sites that tell about it is to make sure that you have clitoral stimulation. Its the only way I will 'O' during anal penetration so doggy sytle where I can reach myself and rub hard makes it REALLY enjoyable for me and my man (be careful not to scratch yourself or him!). There's nothing a guy likes more than feeling those waves of contractions when you cum during anal i/c. Doggy style gives me a lot more control and makes either rubbing the clitoris or using a small vibrator egg on it a lot easier.
I usually want him to stop moving much or move slow till I get closer to an O. The guys I have dated don't seem to mind at all since they never last long after they feel me O LOL. It is definitely a feeling you get to enjoy.